Making some life decisions

So I have been thinking a lot about my life and where it is headed. With every passing year I think about the goals I had as a teenager and how little I have actually accomplished. So I am going to put in writing some goals for me to aspire to with a bit of a deadline to get me motivated.

1. Debt - Pay off all outstanding financials debts by 12/31/07
2. College - Enroll in college at least part time by Jan. 2007
3. Business - Advertise me business and establish more contacts by 12/31/06
4. Home - Purchase a home by 12/31/08
5. Children - Adopt a child in need by 8/5/08
6. Self - Work on exorcising my ghosts and dealing with my issues, everyday.
7. Volunteerism - Get involved again working with kids by 12/31/06
8. Dancing - Continue taking dance classes and participate in a show by 6/30/07
9. Roller derby - Learn more about coaching aspect of the game, everyday.
10. Relationships - Don't accept less then the best, everyday.

The end

I sit here broken-hearted once again,
not for what was,
but for what might have been.
Not for the loss of my lover,
but for the loss of my friend.

I want...

I want to lay in the dark and talk about our deepest, darkest secrets.
I want to caress all your scars and will the pain away.
I want to feel your breath on my neck and shiver from the touch of your lips on my skin.
I want to sit beside you and hold your hand when you feel like the world is keeping you down.
I want to celebrate your accomplishments and be by your side in all you do.

I want to risk heartbreak for you.

I want to wake up next to you in the morning with a smile on my lips and desire in my eyes.
I want for both of us to finally know what it is like to be cherished.
I want for all our differences to melt away and disappear because they don't matter.

I want to know what love is like without pain and disappointment.

I want to tease and laugh with you.
I want you to take out the trash and kill all the bugs.
I want to have dinner waiting for you when you've worked all day.
I want to feel the warmth of your body against mine while I sleep.

I want to feel safe in your arms and for you to feel loved in mine.

I want to giggle while you do bad impressions and make a chihuahua greek.
I want to make you shake your head in amusement and bewilderment every time I bring home another pair of shoes or shriek at a bug.

I want you for my own.
I want to be yours.
I want to be us.