Excuse YOU

People are getting ruder and ruder. What happened to the good ole days when men held doors open for ladies? When people said excuse me when they almost bumped into you? When smiles were returned as you passed a stranger on the street?

Yesterday my day was full of rude people. It all started at work. I went through a door and saw a man with a dolly full of bins. I help the door open for him and he walked through. He said NOTHING. Not even a smile or nod of appreciation. So, pissed off, I loudly said, "You're WELCOME" as I let the door shut behind me.

Later on that afternoon I passed a co-worker in the hall. I smiled and said hello and received a glare in return. This woman has never spoken more then two words to me in the year I have worked here. She looks at me as if I am gum on the bottom of her shoe.

Then I go to the grocery store. This is always a lesson in impoliteness. A few years ago after a long day on my feet in heels I waited for a close parking spot. Apparently this angered a man so much so that as he passed by me walking into the store he called me a lazy fat bitch. I was so stunned and upset I turned around and went home in tears. This time around I was knocked into, cut in front of, and had to wait to get into my car while some woman analyzed the trash on the floor of her backseat.

My grandmother had a large part in shaping who I am. She came from a wealthy European family that was very formal in decorum. I carry a lot of those values with me today. I always say please and thank you, yes ma'am and no sir, and respect my elders. This conflicts with the disrespect I get back from most people on a daily basis. A part of me wants to shout out, "Hey jackass, get some fucking manners!"

Although, because I was raised to be a lady I have a hard time confronting strangers about their rude behavior. It takes a huge rude gesture for me to say something. It saddens me to see my generation and those younger to have so little self-respect. Courtesy says to everyone that you respect yourself enough to be gracious and expect the same in return. I admit that I have my foul-mouthed mean spirited moments. However, it takes a lot for me to get so venomous. For the most part, I bite my tongue so I don't hurt feelings.

The only solution I can present is to keep being courteous. If everyone completed one act of courtesy a day the world could be a little bit better. So next time you are out shopping, give up that close space, hold the door open for the next person coming in, smile as you pass a stranger. It'll make your day better to do so.

Season of Change

I have officially hung up my skates.

I'm sad, but I am really looking foward to making some positive changes in my life. I need to "grow up" and get my shit together. If I am ever going to be ready for Mr. Right then I need to be Miss Right instead of Miss For Now.

So this means I need to pay my bills on time, get rid of my debt, go back to school and get a degree, and take care of me instead of everyone else. I have been thinking about leaving derby for a long time, but I love it and really feel it is something I am good at. When it comes down to my personal goals and my derby goals I need to do what is going to be best for me in the long run. I hope the girls will still call on me occasionally to help out and I plan on going to all the games and cheering them on. I don't want derby to disappear completely. I just need to take what I have learned about myself from derby and apply it to the rest of my life.

So thank you derby girls. You changed my life for the better.