Sweet and sour

Life has been great recently in some ways and in other ways it has been awful.

What's great? The man is wonderful, more about him in a later post. Work is good. Finances are on track for once. The house has come together.

What's bad? I've got some health issues as of late. The good news is that they are working on getting things back to normal, so hopefully I will be straightened out soon. I need to find a way to tell my dad to back off and let me live my life my way. The time for his loving interference needs to come to an end. I need to stand on my own two feet and he needs to let someone else be the man in my life now.

So there's a quick update from my world. More later. I promise.

We Need To Talk

The four most dreaded words in the English language. Those four words never seem to be followed by anything positive. Why is that exactly? Why do we allow things to get that far gone before we feel the need to say those four words? Whatever we are feeling builds and builds until finally we can no longer take things as they are and we say those four feared words. Once they are said it immediately fills the other person with a sense of dread, apprehension, defensiveness, and reluctance. They know they are about to be hit with something heavy that requires them to feel something about the situation at hand and just maybe they aren't ready to confront it.

I feel like I am stuck circling those four words. I need to have a conversation with someone. I need to clarify things for my own peace of mind. I need reassurance and reciprocity. The only problem with this is that I am terrified to do so. I am afraid of hearing the opposite of what I want. I am afraid of being let down and let go. I am afraid I've been reading too much into the good and not enough into the bad. So in my fear, I let things continue as they are, and thus, continue to feel out of control and unsure. As I sit next to him, the beginning of that much needed conversation resides on my lips like gloss waiting to be kissed off on another. The butterflies in my stomach fluttering about so hard I am afraid he can hear them while I attempt to work up the nerve for those words to leave my mouth.

So while I live in this constant state of question I am also attempting to not become attached so that if I do ever get the nerve up to say what I need to say and I don't hear what I want to hear that my heart will only crack and not break. This too feels impossible. I've always been one to give of myself completely and without question. Unfortunately, this normally leads to being taken for granted and when no longer needed, discarded for the next best thing. I no longer want to be the waiting-room-girl, that placeholder that keeps him satisfied until he decides that there is someone or something better out there. So while I am avoiding that conversation, and he is living in the moment (I think), I am still out there making sure he is the best choice for me. So maybe in all that the conversation will become unnecessary in one way or another. Maybe I'll find a way to get the nerve to say those four words, whatever they end up being.

This Is Nucking Futs

Officials Wednesday announced a peanut butter recall due to the possibility of salmonella contamination now affects our state.

The Peanut Corporation is voluntarily recalling peanut butter produced in its Blakely, Georgia facility. However, none of the peanut butter was sold directly to consumers through retail stores. Instead it's usually sent in bulk for to certain institutions.

It's usually under the labels "King Nut" and "Parnell's Pride."

Ok, really? King Nut? Seriously? Who would eat that? I find that name to be extraordinarily funny. Maybe it's that juvenile sense of humor, but I just seriously laughed til I cried after reading this.

The perfect example of why men and women don't communicate well

On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. "
I'm too young to die,' she wails. Then she yells,'Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?"

For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril.They all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.

Then a cowboy from Texas stands up in the rear of the plane. He is handsome: tall, well built, with dark brown hair and hazel eyes. He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt.

One button at a time........

No one moves..................

He removes his shirt................

Muscles ripple across his chest..........

She gasps....................

He whispers...............

"Iron this...then get me a beer."

Back in the pool

The Internet dating pool that is. I've been single for over two years now and I am quite tired of taking out my own trash.

Really though, I love my friends and hanging out with them. It just really sucks to always be the third wheel at everything, attend parties solo, etc. I am just a bit lonely for that special someone. It's hard to be single in a world of pairs.

So I'm trying out plenty of fish. It's free and seems to be a step up from craigslist. I'm already emailing with a guy and I just signed up a couple hours ago.

He just asked me if I have a spam. What's that? Like meat in a can? No, I don't eat that. Like those random emails telling me to buy Viagra? Yeah, I get those. Seriously, what is that about?