Friday, April 10, 2009

Back To My Roots

When I began writing here I was at the beginning of what was supposed to be an exploration of sexuality, sensuality, and self-discovery. Somehow during that time I found myself in a relationship where my only intent in pursuing it was to be able to explore those desires. Instead, I found myself in a relationship that was all talk and no action. Since that time I hadn't found that person that I wanted to explore with, until now.

D and I have been dating since January and living together for the last few months. He is relentless in trying to get me to communicate my feelings. He will not give something up until he gets an answer. At the moment I find this to be not only frustrating, but irritating at the same time. Once I speak my mind though I feel better for having done so as it just brings us that much closer. I recently had a revelation about why it's so hard for me to talk about how I feel and what I want: it's because for my entire life, no one has listened to me. I could tell my family how I felt until I was blue in the face and no one took me seriously or made any changes. So eventually I just gave up expressing myself. Other then the anonymity of this blog, there have been very few people in my life that I felt like I could talk to and be not only listened to, but understood. By D forcing me to go outside the lines I've drawn around myself he is opening me up to new experiences. I feel like I've finally found that person that I can explore life with.

So because of that it's time to get back to my roots with this blog. It's time to start talking about life, love, sex and everything in between. It's time to open my mind and experience whatever it is life has to offer. It's time to just enjoy the ride...