Meeting the Cabana Boy...

So last night I got to meet my Cabana Boy for the first time. He was pathetically begging me so sweetly that I gave in and went to see him at work last night. My big brother insisted on going and "checking him out". (Sidenote: My brother and I have only recently come into contact with each other, so he has no clue what I go for or who I am. Cabana Boy got the approval from my 2 best friends already and they are the ones who count.) All the way there I was just a ball of nerves. My brother decides that he wants to go in and check him out first and then have me come in and see if he recognizes me. I say of course he will cause he has seen pictures of me, and I was right he did. :) And I must say that he is so damn sexy. He's totally got that bedroom eye thing going on. MMMMM that does it to me everytime. I am a sucker for sexy eyes.
So while listening to my brother prove what a jackass he is with his incessent ramblings, the Cabana Boy was lightly stroking my leg and he hit the hottest hot spot I have. It was all I could do not to lose control right then and there. Finally brother left and went out to the car and I got my Cabana Boy all to myself for a minute or two. It was really, really hard to behave myself with him growling in my ear, and somehow managing to get his roaming hands in all the right spots. So be proud of my self restraint, dear readers, as it was very difficult to maintain. Now, I only have to wait til Sunday......... *sigh*

Sweet Dreams

So I have this weird little quirk. I don't know if a lot of women do this because I've never asked but, I have orgasms in my sleep. Not every night, but at least once or twice a week. Sometimes they are just the littlest of quivers and sometimes they are so hard and so many that I wake myself up. That is what I did last night. I had been talking to the Cabana Boy right before I fell asleep and he was really wanting to get my motor revving so to speak, but I had to be quiet as my dad and brother were still awake in the next room. So we decided to forgo that idea for a better time, but just to tease me a little he started purring and growling at me. Well, that got all my juices flowing just in time for us to get off the phone. So I drifted off to sleep thinking of my Cabana Boy and I gettin freaky.
So I'm having this really, really hot sex dream about the Cabana Boy and I. It started off really sweet and romantic with the two of us in bed together, and then it kinda went to him fucking me from behind in the shower. I don't remember the details really well, but the next thing I know I am being awakened by this really hard orgasm. I don't know if it was so intense cause I haven't taken any me time for a few days or if I just really want the Cabana Boy bad, but whatever the reason it left my legs shaking. It was really, really good. After it was all over, I just drifted back to sleep with a smile on my face. I woke up this morning feeling really good with thoughts of my sexy Cabana Boy running through my head. I come out of my room to leave for work and my brother says, "What were you dreaming about last night? You were talking and muttering up a storm last night. I almost went in there to make sure you were ok."
OOOOPSIE. LOL Thank the Gods and Goddesses he didn't. :)

My Cabana Boy....

formerly known as the Mad Professor. I don't even know how this whole thing came about. He emailed me on myspace completely out of the blue one day. We chatted for awhile and while I wasn't sure if he was scarey or not, my curiousity about him won out and I gave him my digits. This is so not my normal MO. I make guys email me and IM me for weeks before they get the number, and he was getting it on the first day. That first chat was the typical kinda weird, nervous chatter about life in general. So we started IM'ing. We started IM'ing a lot. He gets me to open up about stuff I normally keep hidden until well into a relationship. I think it's his openess with me that makes me that way. So he tells me he wants us to meet. It is such horrible timing though, as I have family in town this week. So we IM and talk on the phone. A lot. All the time. I kinda like that. And we don't just talk about sex. Although, it must be said, that he gets me so hot. On the phone. Over cyberspace. (I do prefer the phone though, cause the sound of his voice is so sexy.) Which just makes me wonder if he can get me off so well not even being in the same room with me, what will things be like when we are face to face?
I am very nervous about meeting him in person though. It's the standard questions. Will I be attracted to him? Will he be attracted to me? Will we have the same spark in person as we do online? What if he takes one look at me and says what the fuck was I thinking have a nice day get the hell outta here? And all of this wouldn't matter if I didn't already like him just a little. I can't help it though. He makes me smile, he makes me laugh, and he is so sweet in a perverted kinda way. I like our "me" time together, even if he is currently abstaining. I like him in spite of the fact that he could easily corrupt me and make me not so nieve (sp?) and innocent anymore.
So that's my Cabana Boy story in a nutshell. He's the one that's getting my attention at the moment. Stay tuned, dear readers, cause this one is just getting interesting..........

One of the sweetest most twisted things I've ever read...

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

DEAR ALICIA
babe, seeing how i know ull never see this...unless amanda shows it to u lol ....but i just want to tell u that i love you and that i will truely miss u. you have beeen the girl that has truely made an impacet in my life and way before u became mine too. i can't belive i let myself fuck up and now i have to leave you for who knows how long damn the courts. why am i so fucking stupid. i love you i love everything about you i love how we sneak around, i love how were so spontatous...even to point where we have to out run the cops in reche canyon.i love waking up next to you, i love how when we sleep at night i can't let go of u, i love how ull try new things, i love off roading with u,i love having sex in the rain with you, i love that time in the boat, and the gazebo, i love staring at you, i love how u look at me, i love how ur proud of me eventho theres nothing to be proud of, i love how ull get things pierced for me, i love that tatoo i got in memory of you, i love how we can chill for hours with eachother not saying a word and still know what ur thinking, i love that black and chettah blanket, i love making u happy when ur sad, i love chicken pesto bagguettes with u , i love ur kitty kat, i love how u put up with my friends when i won't put up with urs, i love the nights when i chill with u at work, i love making up with u after a fight,i love those noises u make when we kiss, i love sunday mornings with you, i love showers with u, i love kissing every inch of ur body, i love bonfires with u, i lovetray surfing down ramdom hills with u,i love stealing streetsigns with u wrestling with you, yelling at the grove manager with you lol, i fucking love sex with you!!!!!! i love how you can be so grown up and at the same time so innocent. i love how u manage to get girls not to like u ..thats hott, i love how when everyone hated you u just said fuck them and you helped me through difficult times even when it issolated you from ur friends and family. i appreciate you as a girlfriend but even more as the BEST FUCKING FRIEND ive ever had. im sorry for all the shit i did to you and what i let happen to you. ur such an amazing person for still staying with me and talking to me and well doing other things with me lol. i'm sorry for trying to get u pregnant with out u knowing i just got scared that u were gonna leave me and i wanted us to be us forever and for sum dumb ass reason i came up with that...well maybe some day we can...but not now, im sorry for putting acid on you and for always meesing around with u when were drunk, im sorry for getting u locked up im sorry that i kept giving yay when i knew u were trying to quit.and i'm sorry for keep bringing that the fuck up still when it happened a while ago. i know uve gone through alot for me and with me but i wouldn't have chosen anyone better to be there with me. and i will always be thankful. if i do go to jail im sorry for doing that to you too....if i was smart i would have taken u away from bobby along time agoso we could have had more time...but hey at least u won't miss me cuz ur best friend is a female version of me with out the acid.lol babe i love you and i don;t deserve someone as specail as you so thank you for being with me always and for supporting me. U ARE MY STRONGEST WEAKNESS AND U'LL ALWAYS BE-josh
I surrendered my heart and soul to u It's gonna be a long time til I regain control Im a prisoner held captive by your memory
You're aesthetic perfection has fooled me once again
You'll always be the only one who feels like home
With your hollow words and your plastic smile
You had the most beautiful name I've ever cursed
Yet I wait for you to find your way to my arms.
And I'll wait here till you find your way,
I will wait here all my life
I spent the rest of my days waiting for an end to this mystery.
Though this dichotomy has brought me to my knees
You'll always be the only one who feels like home
And yet the seasons change, and with it does your tongues
Summer's sun has come back, with it misery.
Yet I wait for you to find your way to my arms.
And I'll wait here till you find your way,
I will wait here all my life
I spent the rest of my days waiting for an end to this mystery.
You, must find your way in my arms again.
(You, must find your way, back into my arms.)
Anything, to feel their warmth again.
So the sun has come back with me
And I'll wait here till you find your way,
I will wait here all my life
I spent the rest of my days praying for an end to this mystery.
Its the way she looks at me,
And possesses me to collect the head of anyone,
Collect the head of those who look her way,
Its the way her whispers seem to kiss my ear,
I'd collect the head of anyone,
Collect the head of those graced by her voice.
Her mournful screams were like a melody,
Of unimaginable beauty,
I forced her hand in mine,
As we danced to her song of lament.

I just find this type of raw emotion to be so heart warming. *sigh* I want that. Someone that can acknowledge everything I mean to him. That can admit to and apologize for their wrongs. Someone that knows that life with me is better. I know I'm getting all sappy on you, dear readers, I think it is my past haunting me with the ex being back in my life. Part of me always wished he felt that way, but I know that even if he did he would never admit it. He's still too stubborn to admit it, and now I can't even call him cause his stupid phone is temporarily disconnected. Oh well, maybe someday. Until then.....Calgone take me away.....

Some guilty pleasures....

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Say it with me...... FUCKING NASTY

Oh dear readers, I just had one of the worst experiences a girl dating online could endure. I have finally done the impossible, I have been propositioned by someone I know. A married someone I know. Someone that I am related to. Yes, dear ones, my very own MARRIED COUSIN propositioned me today on AFF.

I see that you have viewed my profile. Any chance that you would be interested in getting to know eachother and possibly a discreet encounter sometime?

I did check out his profile cause there were elements of it that were vaguely familiar to me. I just blew it off to paranoia though, til I saw the pic of his face and confirmed it really was him!!! And not only did he proposition me, there were pics. Pics of things that I never wanted nor needed to see. Pics that make me want to gouge my eyes out with rusty spoons. He has been married less then 6 months. The last time I saw him he told me that they were trying for a baby. Now he and I don't really speak, as we had a major falling out years ago. I did not even attend his wedding, but I have met his bride twice and she is so sweet. She already has a child from a previous relationship and I would hate for her to be saddled with more if she were to learn of his infidelities too late. It is such a sticky situation. I don't know whether to let him know who I am, bust him to his wife, tell the family......
He needs to be put in his place. He has thought for far too long that his shit don't stink. He looks down his nose at the rest of us. He actually called me a tattooed freak, and I only have TWO tattoos!!! Not to mention the fact that his wife does not deserve to be treated in this fashion.
I mean what are the odds of this happening? I am a firm believer in fate, and there is a reason that this happened. I just have to figure out what my role in the scenario is supposed to be.
AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And check out his super cheesy profile:

Profile for
I am home again alone. My wife is at work, and I am off for the day. I have a lot of free days off with my career as I only work 3 out of every 9 days. I am sitting here finding all these beautiful women on AFF and get hornier and hornier wth each profile I read. I find myself stroking my crotch thinking of you. Wondering what it would taste like to have my face buried between your legs. I ama very oral person and love pleasing my partner. As you can't take any more lashings from my tongue, you ask me what fantasy I would like fulfilled today. You know them all and share yours with me, so I let you choose. Ever want to fulfil the one about doing it with a firefighter? Having him take control once you have expressed your desires. You can't wait to feel his hard and shaved cock in your mouth, and then other places.
Ideal Person:I am not picky, but there has to be an attraction between us. I am looking for someone that wants to have some daytime discreet fun. You must be healthy and clean as I am. I love to play in dangerous places, and try new things. Would love to find someone that is interested in some role play and is not afraid to try new things. I am not looking for a relationship, but rather someone that would like some added fun in their days and go back to work with a smile on their face, and juices that are still flowing. Don't be afraid to ask me questions about mutual fantasies.
You can be single or attached, but you must be discreet. This can be beneficial to all parties involved, and very pleasing.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

That's about of all that I can handle. Please excuse me, dear readers, as I go shower in bleach, throw up my dinner, and wash my eyes out with Lysol.

On the dating front......

Well, it's been on hold just a little. First with the ex, then I got sick, and now school is starting. But I am still chatting away and playing with the boys.
I have been IM'ing and talking on the phone with a guy I met on myspace. His name is the Mad Professor and he works at a tattoo shop. He seems really sweet, but he is a bit freaky. His pic on myspace is of him lacing up some chicks back. Yeah. Not into that too much. I am making him wait to see me until at least next weekend. Mostly cause my dad and brother will be here, and I really don't need the grief that will come along with me saying I have a date.
I'm still talking to the angry white boy. Just as friends, but he did tell me that he misses me the other day and I'm a big meanie for not writing or calling. I told him what-the-fuck-ever. His fingers ain't broke and he knows my damn number.
I've been replying to more emails on AFF. I spoke briefly with Brad last night, but there was no chemistry there so we called it a day. He is pretty hot though.

So let the games begin.........

All's well that ends well...

So the ex moved out last Sunday. It ended kinda bad, but it has turned out well. He went to stay with some friends he had met this week. He got this really great job that he starting today. For us to really start as friends we can't live together. It's too easy to fall into old relationship patterns when we are living together and sleeping together. This way I can keep dating and not feel guilty cause he is here. Not to mention how hard it would be to explain to a potential why my ex is living with me. LOL
We've been talking on the phone and we have seen each other once since he left. Things are a little strained, but getting better. That is until his cell was "temporarily disconnected". So now I have no way to get in touch with him and that really sucks. Ah well, I suppose he'll call someday.

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why can't we stop fighting with each other? GAWD DAMN. It seems like everything we say to each other turns into an arguement. Maybe we are just too different to even be friends. Maybe there is just too much in the past that we can't move beyond and let go of. All I know is that I don't need all this stress and drama in my fuckin life. I eliminate people from my life that make me feel this way. Permanantly. don't need, don't want, sure as hell don't have to deal with it.
I really don't want to fight with him, but he is constantly pushing my buttons. He nitpicks my style, my friends, my music, everything. And then it turns into that I talk to my friends about him. Wrong. I talk to one friend about him. Period. I need to vent to someone, since he never lets me finish a fucking sentence without yelling at me.
I know that we are both adults, but we acting like we are still teenagers. We haven't learned how to communicate as adults without feeling like the other one is making judgements based on past behavior. And yes, I must admit that I do that. I can't help it. I don't TRUST him yet. That takes time. I don't trust him to respect me as his friend and not steal from me. I don't trust him as a lover not to break my heart the first time someone he thinks is better then me comes along. I fight my issues with him everyday. There are a thousand things I could have gone off about by now that I haven't. Purely, cause I am giving him the benfit of the doubt that he is a different person. But, when his behavior contradicts his statements it's hard to have faith in that.
He thinks that I'm all hung up on him like I was then and that is just not the case. I know now that there is so much better out there for me. And if he wants to be committed to me again he has to step the fuck up. I deserve to be treated like the princess I am.
All I know is that I hate living like this dear readers. Is being happy too much to ask?

OOOOPS....I did it again.....

I managed to sabatoge a perfectly good thing. AGAIN. When will I ever learn to shut my big fuckin mouth, dear readers? So last night, I decide that ex and I need to have that little talk. Jut so I can get some reassurance and relax a little, let down my guard some. Well, he was making calls to his family last night, so I just bounced around trying to keep myself entertained and give him a little privacy. So I'm on the phone myself and his baby girl's mama calls. And it sounds like he is flirting with her. And believe me dear readers, I am the queen of the flirt, I know flirting when I see it. So now I am really freaking out. Cause from the side of the conversation I overheard (I know, I know I shouldn't eavesdrop, but HELLO it's an apartment for fuck's sake) it sounded like he wanted to move back home and be with her. The specific comment was, "I'll give you what you want." ***poor feelings being stomped on by a big shoe***
So he gets off the phone and I ask him if we can chat for a few minutes and he says yes. So the conversation starts out well I think. He does want us to just be friends at first (which is FINE btw, we need to get to know each other again). He also said that while he wants nothing more then to be in a good relationship with someone, he isn't sure he's ready to jump right back into anything. So we agreed on that as well. I told him I have no problem being FWB as long as he is honest with me at all times, and if ever there comes a time that he wants to be with someone else or I do that we are honest about it. Sounds good right? Well, then I did it. Somehow we ended up on the past, BIG MISTAKE. VERY BIG MISTAKE. HUGE MISTAKE. If ever I could take back a conversation that would've been it. I am sorry I ever went there. I don't blame him for anything I did or any of the choices I made, but I carry around a lot of guilt about them. I am trying to work on that and honestly I don't dwell on those things anymore. I am occasionally reminded and it make me a little sad, but ultimately I know that I would not be who I am today if I didn't make those difficult choices then. I wish then we would've communicated better and loved each other more generously, but we didn't. We can't go back and fix it now. And while I see these AMAZING changes from the boy that I loved to this man that stands before me, the girl that lives in me is still insecure and scared. Dear readers, I honestly believe this man to be my soulmate. I believed it then, I believed it for the last 10 years, and I believe it now. I had resigned myself to the fact that we had our moment in time and that part was done. Well, now we have this amazing second chance to set things right. I had to take it. I have to know one way or the other. You see, friends, we are back together for a reason and whether that is to help each other move on or to finally be together I don't know. Only time will tell. But that girl that lives inside the woman you see today is so scared to lose him again and it's her insecure voice that I hear in the quiet moments. I wish I knew how to reassure myself that it will be ok, but I don't. And to make me even more secure I have DOUBLED my weight since he last saw me. Now granted, I was WAY too thin then. I was like a size 3, all my bones poked out, it was gross. And while I have come to appreciate my bigger breasts and my delicious ass, I am very self conscious about my belly fat and a few other "problem" areas. So while I would be a little body conscious with anyone, I am especially so with him, cause he knew me to be a lil hottie hard body. So all I hear from the girl is, "You couldn't keep him at home when you were hot, how the hell are going to manage to do it now?" I'm sure you see where this is going, dear readers. Many hours of crying and yelling later I don't know that we ever came to a conclusion. All I know is that I have never wanted to take back words so bad in my life. EVER. I feel so horribly bad that I ever acted like that. Talk about pushing someone away. So he slept on the couch for those few short hours before we had to leave the house, and I laid alone in my bed. And, dear ones, it was the worst feeling in the world. Knowing that my friend, my lover, my soulmate lay just a few feet away but feeling like I had created the Grand Canyon between us. Not being able to just reach out to him and make him understand how very sorry I was. This morning things were a bit strained, but ok given the circumstances. He has a lead on a really great job that pays well. I hope he gets it. I hope he stays. Beyond that though, I really don't know what I want. The world would be so much easier if I could just hold him and rub the back of his head forever. *sigh*

Well, just bend me over and slap my ass.......

cause I really, really like that. ;) MMMM and pull my hair too. Grab my breasts hard. Oh baby.
And I got a little of that last night. MMMM MMMMM. And this morning my hip is killing me. I don't think my leg was meant to bend in that position. But DAMN that was some good sexin last night now. I need to show him some new tricks though and next time we need to break out some of my toys and accessories and play a little more. Tee hee.

So things with the ex outside of the bedroom are going pretty well. He has a couple of really good leads on some jobs, so hopefully by Monday he'll be working. I'm actually pretty excited to get the extra income, so I can shop more and pay off some debt. He is still very attentive and sweet, but there are one or two issues. While we may have once been each other's first love, now we are coming back together with baggage. I've been engaged to and lived with someone, had a long term boyfriend that was the most honest relationship I've ever had, a few short term flings here and there, and a ton of crushes. He's bringing 2 children from 2 different mothers and he's in the process of getting a divorce (from someone that he didn't father any children with). So while neither one of us has any right to be jealous about the past, I can't help but feel a bit insecure about it. For instance his daughter's mother, within the last few months he was trying to make things work with her and she continued to see someone else. She calls him and they get into these arguments over stupid crap. I understand that he has a child with this woman and they will have to speak as long as that child is in this world, but why can't he just call and ask for his daughter? And on top of that, she says that it's not his daughter, that she is someone else's. AAARRRGGGGGHHHHHHH
So I called him this morning to let him know I got to work ok since it is very icy, and he says that he talked to his daughter and her mother this morning. He says he needs to get his daughter a birthday present. I say, "Great, we'll go to Target or something this weekend and find her something." Then he says, "I wonder if I should get her mom something."
EXCUSE ME?????? WHAT THE FUCK??????? "Why would you get her anything?"
"Well, I jsut always have whether we were together or not."
OK......... while that is a nice thought, this is a woman that lied and cheated and now you are going to reward her behavior with a gift???????
So, now dear readers, you know why I am feeling a little insecure about this whole situation. I plan on talking to him about it tonight, and just making the attempt to figure out what we both want out of this. Right now, we are friends with benefits, but before my heart gets too wrapped up in him I need some answers. I reassure myself with the thought that he moved 2000 miles to be with me, he is looking for a job, and telling people here and back home that he's here for good. I just need a little more from him. Is that too much to ask, dear readers?

Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh............

That, dear readers, is a sigh of contentment. A sigh that after 3 loooong years my celebacy has cum to an end. Literally. So my first love, well my first everything really, arrived at 11:30 yesterday morning. He looks just like that boy I feel in love with 12 years ago, just more grown up, deeper voice, broader shoulders. I had asked him as he was on his way here if he was nervous about seeing me again and he told me no. Yet, when I reached the bus station he was pacing inside, yeah not nervous my aunt fanny. So he scooped me up in this giant hug and then he looked at me and said, "What the fuck is with the purple eyes?" See dear readers, my eyes are the most boring of brown and now that I have to wear contacts all the time I thought I would do something fun. He hates them. He says he misses my brown eyes.
So we came back to my house and hung out for awhile just chatting about old times, new times, and just generally getting to know each other again. My best friend came by later in the evening to have dinner with us and meet him. It was then that I really saw how much he has grown as a person. He was a complete gentleman, taking our plates when we were done and doing the dishes. After my girl left, we watched a movie and we were both so tired we were falling asleep in the first half an hour. So we went to bed.
Amazing how much one can perk up when in the arms of the one you love. It was like no time had passed between us. It was everything I remembered and more. It was comforting, like coming home again after a long trip. So the first 24 hours has been good. Here's to day 2. *muah*

Sluttybuttfun.....

She is really persistant. She keeps emailing me and emailing me....

Date: Jan 3, 2005 1:57 PM MST
Hi grrrlee,
Would like to meet you I have pics in my network album. Let me know what you think?
Steph
------ Profile Attached -------
Petite blonde seeks something new...large cocked handsome men or cute women for some erotic fun, I am clean shaven, horny, and submissive. Love 3 ways!! I have a male friend 2 join if couple swap!
Date:Jan 5, 2005 8:56 PM MST
Yummy

Date: Jan 6, 2005 1:34 PM MST
Hey grrrlee,
I'm going to try and throw a small orgy at my house tomorrow night? Interested?
Steph
....... at yahoo

And she asked me to join her network, which I did cause I wanted to see her 5 photo albums. Ummmm. Wow. She has slept with quite a few people from AFF. And they took pictures. Really graphic pictures. Which did kinda turn me on. But seeing as how I don't even know if I can have casual sex with one person, there is no way in hell I'll be able to do it with multiple strangers. Besides, that just does not seem safe to go over to some stranger's house where there will be multiple people there I also don't know. That is like offering yourself up to a serial killer or something. So the guy that she fucked from AFF has also added me to his network and asked me to this orgy as well. Now I'm really CREEPED out. LOL
Good thing I already have plans this weekend.....sex with an ex. Hmmmmm

Dicks that look like fingers......

EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW Boys, don't be proud of your cock shot that looks like you are sticking a finger out of your pants. Cause it sure as hell doesn't make me stop and say, "DAMN, I wanna suck and fuck the hell outta that 4 inch long 1 inch wide dick." It actually makes me stop and go, "Oh my hell!!!! What is wrong with that dick? It looks all weird and misshapen."
I think that dicks can be pretty, but not all dicks are pretty. So if your dick is weird looking (and I know you know if it is, cause ya'll know you be checkin each other out at the urinals and shit) keep it in your pants and turn off the lights, cause maybe she won't notice it in the dark.

And on that same subject.... here is an email I got from a finger dick that is so abnormally bright white you need shades to look at it. Gross.
I am a 47yo male (EEWWW you are older then my fuckin mom dude) who likes a little of everything especially giving a woman what she wants.
One side loves to do what is necessary to give a woman pleasure. I will do what it takes to bring you to multiple orgasms. Whether it be soft and sensual or to just bury my mouth into a honey sweet pussy and nibble on your sensitive little clit (there is no nibbling my clit, use your teeth and get kicked in the balls) driving you up a wall then when you are ready I'll give you 7" (be still my fuckin heart, I don't know if I can handle 7 whole inches and be honest motherfucker it's more like 4) to use wherever your heart desires. >>! then when the time is right you'll get your reward ...\8.
I can also a dominant person who can do it hard and rough or naughty an nasty but only if desired. If this sounds like what you would like write and let me know. I am looking forward to hearing from you cause you sound like a very hot and sensual person. Also would love to chat. You can find me on the Instant Messengers MSN, AOL, and Yahoo as ..... Would love to hear from you. (DELETE)

My love is like WHOA....

Your sex is like R&B!

Is there anything like getting freaky with Barry White's voice in the background.
For you, sex is about sensuality, passion, and indulging yourself in making sweet, sweet love all night long.
You savour every sensation, and every love-making session is likely to leave you sweaty, exhausted, and spent.
Some might call you hedonistic and self-indulgeant, but they're probably the same ones who have scheduled sex every Tuesday night at ten on the dot, missionary position only--they don't understand the joys and ecstacies of sex the way you do!

Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

My first IM conversation from AFF.....

I really don't think I can do this casual kinda thing... I'm more of a romantic, but this talking dirty was kinda fun. ;) My thoughts are in bold.

Me: hey sorry
Me: I'm having internet issues tonight
Him: oh really..that sucsk
Me: I'll have my new DSL modem tomorrow
Me: but in the meantime my internet is really sporadic
Him: lol..ya i have a cable modem..its nicer
Me: cable is too expensive
Me: lol
Him: oh well..i pay 50 a month..i need my shit
Him: DSL sucks..but it will be better than dial-up
Me: yeah I would rather spend that money on shoes :-P
Him: haha..well i just started my career..i make good money now
Him: i'll buy shoes too
Me: yes, well I have this shoe addiction
Me: so I spend all the money I can spare on shoes
Me: ;;)
Him: haha..nice
Him: what other addictions u got?
Me: pretty much just shoes
Me: at the moment
Him: not dick huh?
Me: well not unless I'm getting some
Me: then I can't get enough
Me: ;)
Him: lol
Him: so u not gettin any then?
Me: not at the moment
Me: lol
Him: hehe..me neither..this sucks
Me: hence my joining aff
Him: hence mine..lol
Me: well aren't we pathetic?
Me: lol
Him: a little i guess..but this only temporarily!
Him: why dont we have some fun!
Me: fun could be an option
Me: did you have something in mind?
Him: ya i wanan see them titties and that ass! lol
Me: lol is that right?
Him: yes that is right..i love thick girls with big titties (woohoo cause Lord knows I more then qualify for that catagory)
Me: I suppose I would fit into that catagory
Me: if you consider 38DD big that is
Him: damn 38DD..i'd love to titty fuck the shit outta them! (what is it about titty fucking? I personally do not care that much for it cause I ain't getting nothing out of it)
Me: and then....
Him: bend that ass over and fuck u from behind
Me: that is my favorite position
Him: nut all over your titties!
Me: it is good for the skin
Him: hell ya it is
Him: u like cum in your mouth? (maybe after we get to know each other a little better, until then EEWW)
Me: I've been known to swallow once or twice
Him: nice.. so u give good head
Me: I haven't had any complaints
Him: alright cool..so when u want me to fuck you? (wow. that was really foward)
Me: possibly this weekend
Me: I won't know my schedule til tomorrow though
Him: ya sounds good..who u live with? (nunya bizness mafucker cause ya damn sure ain't comin here or cummin here for that matter)
Me: my dogs
Him: hehe thats cool..what u want me to bend u over on? (I'm not a sex planner. I prefer to live in the moment and let whatever happens happen)
Me: well that could be anywhere I suppose
Me: the arm of the couch, kitchen table, the bed, wherever
Him: alrigh tcool..bend u over the dog house (doghouses are typically outside and it's like 20 degrees, I think not ASS)
Me: the dogs don't have a house lol
Him: ha..u like it in the ass? (I have a rule about anal and everything else for that matter, if you want to do it to me I get to do it to you first. It's only fair. I have yet to meet a guy that will let me fuck him in the ass with a strap on, so my chocolate starfish remains untainted tyvm)
Me: my ass is a committed relationship only area (really committed, like MARRIED committed)
Him: i was jk..i dont like fuckin in the ass
Me: why not?
Him: well i do..ha
Him: jk
Me: lol well do ya or don't ya?
Him: u like getting cummed on your face? (not really, no.)
Him: i do..gotta like the girl though
Me: on my face isn't my favorite
Me: only cause if it gets in my eye it hurts lol
Him: haha..i can't cum in your eye?
Me: no lol (motherfucker if you cum in my eye I will bitch slap your ass across the fuckin room)
Him: cum on
Me: only if I can put some in YOUR eye too
Him: you gonna call me daddy? (EEEEEWWWW why is this a turn-on? The last person I want to be thinking about while I'm getting fucked is my father.)
Me: you gonna make me?
Him: hell ya
Me: so anything else you have in mind?
Him: i dunno u
Me: just mutual satisfaction
Him: alrigh tcool..so i'll fuck the shit outta ya then! (no, baby boy, we established this already, keep your pecker away from my ass)
Me: oh my alrighty then
Him: ha
Him: Excited for me to fuck that pussy? (not really no. you weren't graphic enough to get me really turned on and I don't know you well enough to build up any anticipation. So ffrankly my dear, I don't give a fuck)
Me: I am. are you?
Him: yep
Me: well, hold that thought til tomorrow
Me: I'm off to bed (not really cause here I am blogging away, I was just tired of talking to him)
Him: ok..night ngiht

So I don't think I will be meeting up with Nick. While his enthusiasm is admirable and I like the fact he likes us "thick" girls, I feel this underlying sense of desperation. And I don't want to be someone's pity fuck. That's not sexy.
Besides, from the sounds of things I may be getting some sex from an ex by the weekend. Stay tuned.......

Well, ain't that a BITCH.....

so my first love decides to call me after being MIA for months. For those of you that don't know the story, I found my first love this past summer after not speaking to him for 5 years. I thought we were reconnecting but then he just stopped calling. I figured hey I found him if he wants me he knows where I am now. Well, apparently he has smoked way too much chronic over the years and he lost my damn phone number. Whatever. Now he wants to come out here again. Amazing. If he had made this call a week ago I woulda said, "Fuck off. I got a new man. A bad one. He's mean and he'll kick your ass." But no more, so this is a dilemma. I loved this boy more then anything else in the whole world. A small part of me wants that love back, but a bigger part of me is scared to trust him with my heart again. My heart longs for him because he knows me so well and he was my best friend for so long. My head says don't trust him, he's said all this before and never followed through.
*Sigh*

Whod'a thunk it??? LOL

You're a "Kinky Fuck".

You're all about role play.

You wanna be the one giving daily "check ups" or being the naughty school girl.

But you also like a man to please you and treat you good.



What Kind of Fuck Are You?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

Got some responses already...

So far I have gotten responses back from Nick, Scott, Brad, C, and envyme1323.
Unfortunately I am limited in the number of response emails I can send in a 24 hour period cause I am just a lowly standard member. Bastids.

I'm not really sure what I am looking for. Just moved here to Thornton, leaving my girlfriend of 4 years behind. So I guess I'm not looking for a real committed relationship. Mainly looking for people to hang out wiht and have a little fun. Do you have instant messaging?
So I exchanged IM with Nick, so hopefuly we'll be chatting soon. He just broke up with his girlfriend of four years, so hello rebound.

Not sure what you're looking for, but I'm looking for someone that I can have sex with and be at LEAST friends with...I'm looking for personality and fun...They have to both be there for me or I don't believe I can give someone all that I have to offer...if that makes sense....I'm open to long term relationships as well but it's really iffy....I'm pretty picky these days when it comes to personality....it's a huge thing for me.
Anyways here's your pics..if you have yahoo or AIM my name on there is....
Scott
Scott still seems pretty promising. He seems a little skittish about anything long term, but he might be willing.

hey there! I just e-mailed you this long e-mail and am not sure if you just got it. Let me know ok! What is your name?
Brad
Brad offered his number. This dude is pretty hot. Too hot for my average ass.

Happy new year. Nice to hear back from you! Hmmm, music... I like just about everything, except country and heavy metal. I seem to like hip hop and house music the most though. What about you? Do you snowboard or ski? I used to but haven't in a long time. Well, hope you have a good new year and hope to talk to you again. Chad
Chad seems nice. I don't do the whole skiing/boarding thing though. Those guys are pretty hot, so I like to sit in front of a warm fire and watch them walk by.

hey thanks for the reply, so what did you do w/ criminal justice? so tell me more about yourself, what are you looking for? what do you do for work? send me an email and i will send you my pic
Still don't know envyme's name, but I am intrigued by the whole criminal justice thing.

All in all, I think it is going well on AFF. I need to get a really good face shot this weekend to use on these sites. And some shots of my potential date outfits so ya'll can help me pick out what hot's and what's not. Next up, match.com.

This deserved it's own post...

I would never date this guy and I do not plan on responding to his email. His profile just did nothing for me, but this email, DAMN, I had to break out BOB afterwards. What do ya'll think?

You’re standing facing the bed in a pair of tight fitting jeans that really show the outline of that great ass and a snug black shirt. I walk up behind you and gently wrap my arms around your waist. I begin by lightly kissing the back of your neck and shoulders while my hands move around to your waist and then down your outer thighs. Still lightly kissing your neck, I begin massaging your thighs down the outer thighs and up your inner thighs being careful to avoid your sweet spot. My hands find their way up and down your thighs several times. Instead of going for your pussy right away, I wrap my arms around your waist again and firmly pull you against me so you can feel the bulge in my jeans. As you turn your head toward me, you can feel my warm breath on your ear and you lightly moan as my hands find those beautiful breasts. I gently caress them through your shirt, but am not satisfied so I begin working my way under your shirt. But I am still restricted, so I remove your shirt and bra so I can feel your soft luscious skin. By this time, I’ve begun to kiss and nibble on your ear and tell you how good you smell and feel. My hands continue to search your entire body as I undo your pants. As they drop to your ankles, I follow them down dropping to my knees and give you some light kisses on the small of your back while I begin massaging your inner thighs again. However, this time I begin to lightly scratch you inner thighs and your breathing becomes erratic. I rise to my feet again, kissing and licking your back on my way up. I pull you firmly against me again so that you can feel my dick getting harder as I am getting VERY hot by your moans. I rub your breasts one last time paying close attention to your erect nipples before gently pushing you forward onto the bed. You turn to your back so that you are facing me standing above you at the foot of the bed. I remove my shirt so you can see my muscular body. I take your left leg and begin kissing your ankle. I work my way up you leg kissing and licking every inch of your beautiful soft skin. Again though I avoid you pussy and give you a few kisses on your stomach just above the panty line. I hook the sides of your panties with my thumbs and begin to pull them off slowly while I kiss and lick down your right leg. After your panties have cleared your ankles, I take of my jeans so you can see the bulge from my fully erect cock in my boxer-briefs. I again start licking my away up your right leg while straddling your left leg so you can feel my hard cock. As I reach your pussy, I carefully avoid it, Knowing that you want to feel my warm tongue inside you. Instead I kiss and lick the top of your leg. I can feel and taste your warm juices beginning to drip down your leg. I can’t stand it any longer, but I avoid your warm pussy and move higher to kiss and lick your stomach then up to your breasts licking around your nipples, before I begin to gently suck on them. First the right, then the left. Moving up, I begin kissing your neck and I feel your warm luscious breath on my ear. I kiss up your cheek and gaze into your eyes before kissing you. I start by gently touching my lips to yours, then feeling that you are receptive, I begin to gently lick your lips with my tongue. Your tongue meets mine and we become entwined in a long passionate kiss. My hands are gently caressing those luscious breasts and I want to lick and suck on them again. So begin working my down, kissing your neck and shoulders while I ever so gently nibble on your shoulder. I finally reach your breasts and begin kissing and licking between them. Then I move to your left breast and my tongue gently and slowly circles your nipple. Not able to stand it any longer, I take your nipple into my mouth and feel it getting erect as I gently suck. Sensing that you enjoy that I move to the right breast and repeat the same process. By now you should be able to feel my hard cock pressing against your leg. By your moans, I can tell you want more so I begin kissing my way down to your warm, wet pussy stopping to lick around your belly button. As my tongue reaches your pussy, I avoid the temptation to dive in and move to the side again licking the tender skin where your upper leg meets your pussy. As you gasp, I can tell you want to feel my hard tongue on your clit. But instead, I switch to the other leg. However, as I pass over your pussy I let my tongue slip in for a quick taste. Ohhh! You taste sooo good. After licking and kissing your other leg, I am finally ready to taste what I have been looking for. I firmly slide my tongue up your right labia till I reach your clit. After circling your clit a couple of times, my tongue slides down the opposite side. As I reach the opening, I flick my tongue inside a couple of quick times to get the full taste of your juicy pussy. With a firm sweep of my tongue, I lick up the entire length of your pussy until I reach your clit again. Now I have found the spot I like. This time, I begin sucking on your clit while my hand finds its way to your pussy. While sucking your clit I slide a finger inside you. I can tell you like it by the moans and heavy breathing. Sensing that you are satisfied, I suck harder and let my tongue tickle your clit while I suck. By now I am VERY VERY hard, and just as hot as you are. So, while still licking your pussy, I slide my underwear (boxer-briefs) down, having to stretch the waist band to its limit to get them over my rock hard cock. Although I like the taste of your wet hot pussy, I know it’s time for more. So as I slowly work my way upward, I lightly kiss and lick your stomach stopping at each breast to give your nipples one last moment of attention. Then, just as my lips touch yours, my cock rubs against your dripping wet pussy. You gasp in anticipation of what comes next. I begin to rotate my hips so that my cock rubs all over the outer folds of your pussy getting the head nice and wet ready for penetration. Unable to stand anymore teasing, you reach down and guide me inside you. Oooooo you feel soooo good. But resisting the temptation, I don’t push myself inside all at once. Instead I begin working my hips back and forth so that the head barely goes inside you with each downward stroke and almost comes completely out with each up stroke. This goes on for a minute or two, but seems like hours, because you want it all. My slow gentle rhythms are making your pussy even wetter than before. With each stroke I begin plunging a little deeper inside you. Finally, my whole shaft is deep inside your pussy. Knowing that you want me to keep up my rhythm, I stop and let my cock rest inside you while I look deeply into your eyes and give you a deep passionate kiss. After a few seconds of our tongues exploring each others, I raise above you and begin slowly moving my shaft. It slowly slides IN and OUT, IN and OUT, IN and OUT.I hope you are enjoying this as much as I am. With each stroke my pace quickens. By this time, my cock is slamming in and out of your wet hot pussy at a fevered pace and each time I push myself inside you, you raise your hips to meet mine. My hips slapping against yours is making a smacking sounds and we both are breathing very heavy by now. Also, we both are beginning to work up a good sweat and the sweat glistening on your breasts makes me even hotter. But I can only keep up this pace for about 10 minutes, so I lower my body and hold you close against me while still fucking you. Only now my pace has changed so that I am slowly pulling my cock out of your pussy, until the head almost emerges. When the head is almost completely out of you, I slam it back inside, forcing myself as deep as I can. Your arms are now around my neck holding me tight to your body. My arms run under your arms so that my hands are gripping your shoulders from below. With each stroke, I firmly pull on your shoulders to help force myself deep inside. With each stroke, you gasp and your warm breath on my ear makes me force my way inside even harder. By now, I am almost completely exhausted but not quite ready to finish. So, my left hand finds your hair to gently pull your head back, exposing your neck. Not being able to resist your beautiful neckline, I dive in and begin aggressively kissing and licking your neck and collar area. I can tell you enjoy that by your moans, so I continue for a few minutes. I am now starting to catch my second wind, so I pull my cock out of you and roll you over onto your stomach. I lay down on top of you so that my rock hard cock rests between your ass checks. I reach my hands out to meet yours and begin kissing and nibbling on your right ear. I slowly work my way down to your neck, then down to the small of your back. As my lips and tongue reach the small of your back, I gently lick the top inch or so of your ass crack and rise to my knees between your legs. I firmly grasp your hips and pull you up to your knees. Knowing what is coming next, you turn and give me a sly smile and tell me that you want me to fuck you hard from behind. I tell you that you have a dirty mouth, and give you a firm smack on the ass. However, receptive to what you want, I slowly slide my cock into your pussy from behind. I again give you a couple of slow half-strokes to build the anticipation. After a couple of strokes, I pull my cock almost completely out and I ask you if you want it all. Just as you begin speak, I force my cock all the way inside. The first part of yes comes out clear, but as you feel my cock thrust deep inside your pussy the “e” and “s” drag out into a moan of pleasure, YEEESSSSSSS. Knowing what you want, I begin fucking you very hard and very fast. I firmly pull your hips back toward me with each stroke. I can tell that I am pleasing you because I can feel your warm, sweet pussy juices running down my legs. By now my hips are slapping against your ass. You drop to your elbows so that you can rest your head on the pillow. But I don’t want you to rest while I am working so hard. So I reach forward for a handful of hair. I gently pull your head back (but not enough to hurt). This causes you to raise back up to your hands and causes you to arch your back so that your pussy tightens and my cock can go all the way inside you. Your pussy wrapped tightly around my cock is getting me very excited and close to climax. While fucking you hard, we both begin to breath hard and moan with each stroke. I feel your pussy getting hotter and your knees and elbows begin to quiver as you begin to cum. Knowing that you are having an orgasm, I let go of your hair and you collapse back down to your elbows and your moans become drag out. Unable to hold back any longer, I force my cock all the way inside. The head of my cock swells, and my load is released deep inside, filling your pussy with my hot cum. Completely exhausted, you fall to your stomach and I fall beside you. You look deep into my eyes and we become entwined in a long hard kiss letting each other know that we both are very satisfied. I begin lightly rubbing your back and the sweat allows my hand to gently and smoothly glide across your glistening skin. Soon we both drift into a deep sleep knowing we will awaken to a new fantasy

And so it begins....

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Some interesting prospects...

over at AFF. Here are some of the emails I have received thus far:

Scotty here and I just joined up on this site so please bear with me.. Anyhoo, I was browsing around and stumbled on your profile.. well picture first then your profile. I would really like to hear more. I know you have to have somewhat of an interest first so if you think we might click I would love to hear back. I guess a little about me (just in case you were wondering who the heck was babbling to you.) I am 36 yrs old, blonde hair, blue eyed, 6'2", 225 lbs, muscular build. I live in Highlands Ranch but moving to the Wash Park area after the first of the year. I am finishing my Masters in Business Administration. I have BS in Aero Space Science. I fly helicoptes and airplanes. Lets see, I have a son who is 12 and share custody with my ex. My ex-wife and I are good friends and that makes things much easier. We just got married too young at least I did. Oh boy, I am ramblin on .. Let me know what else you would like to know??.. if your interested!
I am sure your getting emailed to death and if you don't get back, I understand. This is all new to me. So I will quit with this run on email and let you go on to other novels..lol. I will attach a pic with face to see if your interested. Let me know. Either way if you are not interested a quick note would be great so I don't think my mail was delivered.
Hope to hear back,
Scotty
------ Profile Attached -------
I am a very confident, passionate person who has been brought up to be a gentleman. I am looking for someone who wants to have fun and enjoy life with. I am an athletic 6'2", 225, lb, muscular male, blonde hair and blue eyes. If you would like to know more please feel free to drop me a line.
My opinion on Scotty: He is decent looking for his age. He may be a little too established for me. I want someone I can have fun with and where we have music in common. I am also really leery about getting involved with anyone that has kids. I want kids of my own someday, and I have found that a lot of guys aren't willing to have anymore once they have been divorced.

Hi there. I am new to this, but thought you looked great. I am 28, 6' tall, 175 lbs, brown hair and eyes, am good looking and have a picture if you want it. If you would like to talk over drinks or something, please email me back. ThanksC
------ Profile Attached -------
i am a 28 year old male, 6' 175lbs, brn hair/eyes. i have been told i am good looking, funny, caring, down to earth and fun to hang out with.
My opinion on C: Short and sweet. I like it. He meets my height and age requirement. I will be emailing him back.

Hey I just wanted to say hello. My name's Scott and I'm 28. I live fairly close to you I think (I don't live in Englewood but I live on Belleview) so I thought I would write. I'm just looking for no strings attached fun. I'd love to get to know you if possible. My email is ..... and my yahoo and AIM id is ....... Hit me up if you'd like I would love to hear from you!
My opinion on Scott: I like him. Especially for this comment in his profile: Ideal Person:I'm looking for someone that is cultured, laid back, and as classy as you can get in this situation. Please no complications. If there's going to be dilemnas or drama with me getting involved with you, please don't waste mine or your time. Not so much picky about weight as I am cute faces and real personalities.
Woohoo!!! A guy not picky about weight. I will definately be emailing him back.

I am a single white male, 34 yo, 6ft 225lbs. I am looking for an attractive woman to get to know and have some fun with. What kinds of things do you like to do? What turns you on? I would love to chat with you to see if we might have some fun together. Drop me a line at
My opinion on warttoad2: Most definately will not be emailing him back. While he meets my requirements and seems nice, we have absolutly no music tastes in common. I just can't live with that. Folk? Jazz? EEWWW

Hello I have a confession to make. I never know what to say in these e-mails to make a big impact. Ive never been a very good writer. All I can do is say exactly what Im thinking and what Im feeling, and hope that I come across as someone who is fun, intelligent, sweet, sexy and basically great to be around. Well, here goes. My name is Rick. I am a 24 year old man living outside the Denver area. Im a traind chef but I work as an electrician for the time being. I had some success on AFF a few years ago, and met a woman who I eventually fell in love with.Long story short, we broke up and Ive been single for a year now.My heart was broken, but I thought I would give AFF another chance. Im looking for a nice lady for friendship, friendship with benefits, or (if it feels right) a serious relationship. I hope Ive included enough to pique your interest. I would love to answer any questions you may have about me. If Im not your cup-of-tea I wish you the best of luck on your search for someone special. Bye bye for now.
-Rick
------ Profile Attached -------
My name is Rick. I am a 24 year old livig in Pine, CO; right outside of Denver. I am 6'4" and weigh 250 pounds. I am a big guy, but thats because I am very muscular. I am a trained chef. I also paint and endulge in many other art forms.I also love to read; especially the Kama SutraI had my heart broken a while back and am slowly getting back into enjoying spending time with a good woman, I hope thats you. I have been told that I am a very good lover and I have recieved many compliments on my "package". I guess Ill let you be the judge Thanks for spending the time reading my profile. If Im not what you're looking for, I wish you the best of luck on your search Bye bye. ps Sorry about my frown in my picture. Its the only one I have
My opinion on Rick: He most definately meets my "big guy" requirements. I really wanted to email him, til I read more of his profile. PUT THE FUCKIN BRAKES ON!!!!! This dude likes to have anal beads in his ass. That's just not my bag, baby. NASTY.

hello, well i was bored today browsing through and came across your profile and was very intrueged by you, you seem like a sweetheart and i liked what you had to say in your profile, as for me i am from lakewood, work in finance and going to school to become a cop, hate games and bs and would want to find someone whos upfront, honest, real and who wants the same, i am very goal oriented, honest, focused, have my sh*# together, athletic, very attractive (at least thats what i am told) i do have a pic yet but havent uploaded it so i would have to email it to you, i just signed in like a week or so ago, i love to meet new people (obviously being on here), love to go out and have a good time, very laid back and not the jealouse type, so if your intested, which i hope you are, please email me back, would love to hear from you to get to know each other, hope to talk to you soon
My opinion on envyme1323: We have a lot in common. There is the whole cop thing which is kinda sexy. He does not come close to my height requirement since he is only 5'7" and I prefer at least 6', but I am still gonna email him and see what's up.

Just seeings whats up with you. I don't know about this site really..where u from exactly? what are you looking for really? well hope to talk to you later!
~nick
My opinion on Nick: Mmmm a younger man could be good. Lord knows that my sex drive is in high gear. He just might be able to keep up. He's interesting and meets the height requirement. I'll email him back and check it out.

I read your profile and really liked it! I would love to chat with you sometime. What do you think?
Brad
My opinion on Brad: He is way too cute for me, but fuck it. I could rock his world. Email on the way.

Hey there, I saw you're profile and I thought I would drop you a line to say hi, and I that I think we have a lot in common. You really seem like the kinda girl who you would find working on a car in the afternoon, and then dressing up for a night on the town later on that night; which in my opinion there isn't anything more atractive. Anyway, if you're at all interested, I would absolutely love to hear back from you. Hope to talk to you later.
Later Gater~Steve
My opinion on Steve: I like this dude. He seems sweet. A little young, but that could be ok. Definately sent him a return email.

I just wanted to say hello and happy new year. I believe that I left you a message but if not then here it is. I am interested in talking with you and believe that you would not be disappointed if you gave me a try. I am looking for a friends first basis. The whole idea of meeting someone and sleeping with them for me went out in early 20's. But any way if you are interested let me know and maybe we can chat and who knows from there, right?
My opinion on Storm: I like his style. I am not sure that I will be brave enough for casual sex myself. Email sent.