Tuesday, November 06, 2007

I am such a good daughter

Earlier this year I found the perfect birthday card for my dad. He has been a truck driver for over 40 years and I found a card that plays the song, "Convoy". It is the cutest thing ever. So over the months I have been having all his friends sign it. My brother was in town for a weekend and even he signed it. I am down to having the last few people sign it. This card is FULL. My dad left here over 20 years ago and moved out of state. He still has a lot of friends here that he keeps in contact with. I can guarantee that when this card arrives at his house on his birthday, there will be tears. My dad deserves it though.

Monday, November 05, 2007

Yes, this is my job.

I am cutting out paper turkeys to hid around my department for a Thanksgiving scavenger hunt. Each turkey (or decoy) has a silly saying on the back. Here is what I came up with (and may I say it is damn hard to find things that rhyme with turkey):

Took a wrong turn at Albuquerque,
Found yourself smack dab in Turkey!

The waters were murky,
Waded through and found a turkey!

You may be odd, a bit quirky,
But you still found yourself a turkey!

Crack a smile and get perky,
You found yourself a turkey!

You're no jerky,
You found a big fat turkey!

You need better luck,
Cause all you found was this duck!

Take a lick and keep on tickin',
All you found was this chicken!

Sunday, November 04, 2007

An example of ignorance

This story makes me so very angry. This is ignorance in its purest form. Where is the Christian sense of compassion for the families of these men and women? What happened to "only God can judge me"? This is why I have a huge problem with organized religion. People don't take the time to learn about their own faith and just follow someone and take on their beliefs. Find your own beliefs and make your own decisions based on education, not on what someone else tells you. I hope these people get their own special place in hell.


BALTIMORE, Maryland (AP) -- A grieving father won a nearly $11 million verdict Wednesday against a fundamentalist Kansas church that pickets military funerals in the belief that the war in Iraq is a punishment for the nation's tolerance of homosexuality.

A member of Westboro Baptist Church protests outside a veteran's hospital in Maywood, Illinois, in April 2006.

Albert Snyder of York, Pennsylvania, sued the Westboro Baptist Church for unspecified damages after members demonstrated at the March 2006 funeral of his son, Lance Cpl. Matthew Snyder, who was killed in Iraq.
The jury first awarded $2.9 million in compensatory damages. It returned later in the afternoon with its decision to award $6 million in punitive damages for invasion of privacy and $2 million for causing emotional distress.
U.S. District Judge Richard Bennett noted the size of the award for compensating damages "far exceeds the net worth of the defendants," according to financial statements filed with the court.
Church members routinely picket funerals of military personnel killed in Iraq and Afghanistan, carrying signs such as "Thank God for dead soldiers" and "God hates fags."
A number of states have passed laws regarding funeral protests, and Congress has passed a law prohibiting such protests at federal cemeteries.
But the Maryland lawsuit is believed to be the first filed by the family of a fallen serviceman.
The church and three of its leaders -- the Rev. Fred Phelps and his two daughters, Shirley Phelps-Roper and Rebecca Phelps-Davis, 46 -- were found liable for invasion of privacy and intent to inflict emotional distress.
Snyder claimed the protests intruded upon what should have been a private ceremony and sullied his memory of the event.
The church members testified they are following their religious beliefs by spreading the message that the deaths of soldiers are due to the nation's tolerance of homosexuality.
Their attorneys argued in closing statements Tuesday that the burial was a public event and that even abhorrent points of view are protected by the First Amendment, which guarantees freedom of speech and religion.
The judge said the church's financial statements, sealed earlier, could be released to the plaintiffs.
Earlier, church members staged a demonstration outside the federal courthouse.
Church founder Fred Phelps held a sign reading "God is your enemy," while Shirley Phelps-Roper stood on an American flag and carried a sign that read "God hates fag enablers."
Members of the group sang "God Hates America" to the tune of "God Bless America."
Snyder sobbed when he heard the verdict, while members of the church greeted the news with tightlipped smiles. E-mail to a friend

Saturday, November 03, 2007

The Faux World

Remember when the very first Real World came out on MTV? It really was seven strangers picked to live in a house and we got to watch the fallout. They all had their own goals and aspirations and were pursuing their own separate identities. That is what made it such a compelling show. The first three seasons of the Real World were so groundbreaking. We saw people from all different walks of life come to together and try to get along. Unless your name was Puck and you liked to piss people off by sticking your booger encrusted hand into their jar of peanut butter. People fought because they knew who they were and what they believed in. There were dancers, actors, writers, artists, med students, political activists, Christians, and comics. They made us laugh and they made us cry. They changed the way that people of my generation thought and gave us a face for AIDS.

Now the show seems to be the same cookie cutter script from year to year. The only thing that changes is the venue. Gone are the days of 20-somethings making their way in the world. Here are the days of drunken frat boys and slutty sorority girls working at a job no one gives a shit about and getting drunk every night in the "hottest" club in town. These are the people that I avoid like the plague in my own town (and sadly enough they very recently completed a season in my town). Now they are glorified on television for every preteen to want to be. How sad is that? MTV went from being the voice of my generation, to the embarrassment of the next. Pathetic.

Friday, November 02, 2007

Phobias

I have found that as I get older the more fear I have for things. I can remember being a kid and being scared of the normal monsters in the closet/under the bed or not wanting to be in the dark. I also had this weird obsessive fear of being kidnapped. I was PETRIFIED of "kidnapper vans". You know, those work vans with no windows. I ahve no idea where that came from, but everytime I saw one of those vans I would freak out.

Now as I get older I am scared of the stupidest shit. For example, I recently got a bicycle. I haven't been on a bike since I was 15 or 16, so it's been a few years. I got on it and started to ride down the street and proceeded to panic. I was going to fast, I would fall over when I tried to turn, I would go ass up if I hit the brakes too hard, get me the hell off this death contraption. Seriously. What the fuck is wrong with me?

A couple weeks ago I was at my aunt's house with my dogs. She said there had been a rabbit hanging out in her yard and we wondered if the dogs would come across it. Sure enough, a few minutes later we see my chihuahua chasing this tiny bunny. They went one way, they went another way and were off around the house. The next thing I know the bunny turns around and comes running towards me. I actually screamed. My aunt laughed at me, because seriously who is afraid of a bunny. What the fuck is wrong with me?

I get all freaked out at the mall now, too. Why do malls always have to have glass railings on the second floor. I am getting woozy just thinking about it. I walk plastered to the wall and try not to look. Seriously. What the fuck is wrong with me?

I have turned into the world's biggest wuss. I need hypnosis or something. Does anyone sell courage in a bottle? Just call me the Cowardly Lion.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Life really is a circle

Last year around this time I was surfing blog links and came across a blog with a story about a woman who was very sick without a cause. Being in the medical field, I clicked on the link and have been lurking there ever since. As I read about this woman, her husband, her children, her life, it seemed so normal. It was the same things we all write about: hanging out with friends, life's annoyances, goofy family stuff and everything in between. Then came this random sickness that started innocent enough and turned into the cause of her death. As I read her husband's words during this time my heart broke. I felt his pain of being helpless and his fear of the future. I felt the pain of the loss of a great love. The pain of the loss of normalcy as life would never be the same again. I literally sat at my desk and wept for this stranger and his children. I told my close family and friends their story and how we should all be a little more thankful in this season of thanksgiving for those we love. I hugged my own mother a little tighter.

Today, I read about his new life. His new love. He is starting to be able to let go of the pain and embrace the joy again. That too, made me cry. It also made me realize that we all deserve that. To be able to have joy everyday, regardless of what we have suffered in the past. So in honor of this family that I have never met, I am going to try and do just that. If this man and his children can find joy after such a great loss, we should all be able to move on from the pettiness of the past. So begins a new journey...

Thursday, August 16, 2007

5 thingie-ma-bobs

Bitter Betty stole this from someone and then I stole it from her. Woohoo for the five-fingered discount!!

5 THINGS ABOUT LIL OLE ME

Five favorite days of the year

1. My birthday - Even though as I get older it gets less exciting, it's still MY DAY DAMMIT.
2. Christmas - Just another chance for all those that love me to give me presents. It's really my gift to the world to receive gifts gracefully.
3. All Hallow's Eve - One of these days I am going to throw the coolest costume party EVER.
4. Easter - Coloring eggs is just too much fun.
5. Vacation days - Just cause I'm not at work when I'm supposed to be.

Five things I watched this week
1. Big Brother - Evil Dick banging on a pot lid with a spoon was the funniest thing I have seen on TV in a long time. PRINCESS!
2. Big Love - Polygamy is really interesting, but so not for me.
3. Rock of Love - Brett Michals is kinda hot in a disgusting, dirty rockstar way.
4. Rescue Me - One of the best shows on TV. Dennis Leary is amazingly wrong.
5. Taboo - People do some really crazy shit to their bodies. Damn.

Five things you don't want to do but should
1. Get my fat ass off the couch and moving. I realized yesterday I have zero cardiovascular capacity.
2. Clean my house and mow the grass. Both necessary evils that I curse every time I do them.
3. My actual job, instead of screwing around on my blog.
4. Eat better. Damn chocolate and it's evil pull on me.
5. Really, truly make a budget and stick to it. Not just half-ass it.

Five things you want to learn
1. A foreign language
2. How to do amazing hair and make-up
3. How to sew
4. How to weld
5. Take apart a carburetor

Five animals you've had as or have pets who impacted you
1. Precious Diva Angel - Yorkshire Terrier - I've never known a dog with so much personality
2. My goats - Heidi and Nicki. Did you know a goat will do anything for a Frito?
3. Sunny - The best horse in the world.
4. Turtles - Not very cuddly. It was then I realized I'm not too big on reptiles.
5. Lucy Goo - my weechawa. She shows me the true meaning of unconditional love everyday.

Five favorite pieces of clothing
1. My black and white polka dot dress.
2. My jean Capri's.
3. My new black bra that makes my boobies look so damn good.
4. My handbag and shoe collection.
5. My pajamas.

Five things you enjoy in the summer
1. Sun tea
2. Sitting on porch
3. Watching my dogs play in backyard
4. BBQ's
5. Riding in the car with the sunroof open at night

Five foods you won't eat
1. Mushrooms - They are fungus that grows from poop. Nuff said.
2. Fish. I cannot get past the smell. I will eat crab legs though, go figure.
3. Tofu. I am a meatatarian.
4. Snails, bugs, fish eggs, etc. We are an evolved society, we no longer need to eat that kinda stuff.
5. Anything I can't identify or pronounce cause that's just stupid.

Five things that are not where they belong
1. My dirty dishes. They should be in the dishwasher instead of the sink, but I've been sick dammit.
2. The gift certificates I got last year cause I have no CLUE where they are.
3. My brain. I damn sure can't get it to work today.
4. My dad. He was supposed to be here for vacation 2 weeks ago and still hasn't left yet.
5. My bank account. I gotta go with Betty on this one and say it needs a lot more zeros.

You are given $50,000 to give to 5 people as $10,000 cash gifts, who and why
1. T.V. so she can invest in her new business as a pro photographer and take many more beautiful pictures.
2. A.H. so she can get herself out of debt once and for all and buy that Mickey pendant she was drooling over the other night.
3. My pops so he can get his retirement business going and make some money.
4. My mama cause she needs to take a luxury vacation.
5. And me. Cause I have debt to pay. And once that is gone I can save up for 58 Chevy dammit. And I am a damn worthy cause.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

I got it bad

Did you ever just want something?

I want a lot of different things at different times. Most of the time the desire passes and I move on to something or someone new. Not the case now though. I have had a crush on someone for the last two years. I go through phases of wanting him BAD. We flirt, speak in innuendo, and dance around the elephant in the room. Neither one of us has ever really crossed the invisible line and said, "Hey. I like you. Let's be more then friends."

I came really close to saying those words though. I was a bit tipsy one night and it almost came out. I didn't though. I am so afraid of losing the friendship I have with him. He makes me smile when I'm sad and is ready to kick any one's ass that hurts me. He has been a great friend to me and put up with my crap. I don't want that to go away. At the same time though, I think he would make a great boyfriend (sometimes). When we first met, he was in a relationship and I never thought of him 'like that". Then a few months later he was single and a man-ho. He was really playing the field. This is when we really started spending time together. I would go to his work and just hang out. He was my "date" for anything that required it. Then I started messing around with someone and he got a girlfriend. We started to drift apart until the shit hit the fan. Next thing I know I am crying on his shoulder and he is venting to me about the psycho he just had to have arrested.

So there we were. Back to the flirting and not saying anything. Then, just when I think I might say something he says he has a new girlfriend. Things changed between us for awhile. We talked less. Anything we said was just polite conversation between friends.

In recent weeks though, things have gone back to the way they were. He's flirting again. The innuendo is in full force. He talked to a mutual friend about me. He said my emails "brighten his day". She said it felt like she was talking to my boyfriend. That's how well he knows me though. He's more then a casual acquaintance. I know I can call him at 2am and he would be there for me. It's weird because he still has a girlfriend. I like her, and would never want to come between anyone in a relationship. Whenever I try to bring her up though I get a one word answer and the subject gets changed. He will not talk about her. Good or bad. To me, that's not the sign of a happy home.

Maybe if he is ever single again I will think about telling him how I feel. Until then, I just have to keep thinking of him as only my friend. Even when he makes it hard on me.

So in answer to his question today, I am feeling more then naughty. You've got me feeling downright F-R-U-S-T-R-A-T-E-D.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Just one

So I am driving along yesterday and passed a shoe on the side of the road. Just one. A lonely little tennis shoe in dirty gray. It really got me thinking about what circumstances would lead to only one shoe being left in the gutter. If you put a pair of shoes on the roof of your car, for instance, it would seem that they would both fall off at around the same place. I've seen lots of random baby shoes in parking lots and such. Babies are always losing just one shoe or sock, but this was an adult's sized shoe. Did something sinister happen, like the person was abducted by aliens so fiercely that all that remained was a shoe? Was it from someone that was hit by a car and the force of the impact blew off the shoe? Maybe it was someone just walking down the road and that shoe was hurting their foot, so they took it off and left it in frustration. Maybe it was tied to the bumper of a newlywed's car and came off.

Just something to think about the next time you are driving along and encounter the lone shoe.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Excuse YOU

People are getting ruder and ruder. What happened to the good ole days when men held doors open for ladies? When people said excuse me when they almost bumped into you? When smiles were returned as you passed a stranger on the street?

Yesterday my day was full of rude people. It all started at work. I went through a door and saw a man with a dolly full of bins. I help the door open for him and he walked through. He said NOTHING. Not even a smile or nod of appreciation. So, pissed off, I loudly said, "You're WELCOME" as I let the door shut behind me.

Later on that afternoon I passed a co-worker in the hall. I smiled and said hello and received a glare in return. This woman has never spoken more then two words to me in the year I have worked here. She looks at me as if I am gum on the bottom of her shoe.

Then I go to the grocery store. This is always a lesson in impoliteness. A few years ago after a long day on my feet in heels I waited for a close parking spot. Apparently this angered a man so much so that as he passed by me walking into the store he called me a lazy fat bitch. I was so stunned and upset I turned around and went home in tears. This time around I was knocked into, cut in front of, and had to wait to get into my car while some woman analyzed the trash on the floor of her backseat.

My grandmother had a large part in shaping who I am. She came from a wealthy European family that was very formal in decorum. I carry a lot of those values with me today. I always say please and thank you, yes ma'am and no sir, and respect my elders. This conflicts with the disrespect I get back from most people on a daily basis. A part of me wants to shout out, "Hey jackass, get some fucking manners!"

Although, because I was raised to be a lady I have a hard time confronting strangers about their rude behavior. It takes a huge rude gesture for me to say something. It saddens me to see my generation and those younger to have so little self-respect. Courtesy says to everyone that you respect yourself enough to be gracious and expect the same in return. I admit that I have my foul-mouthed mean spirited moments. However, it takes a lot for me to get so venomous. For the most part, I bite my tongue so I don't hurt feelings.

The only solution I can present is to keep being courteous. If everyone completed one act of courtesy a day the world could be a little bit better. So next time you are out shopping, give up that close space, hold the door open for the next person coming in, smile as you pass a stranger. It'll make your day better to do so.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Season of Change

I have officially hung up my skates.

I'm sad, but I am really looking foward to making some positive changes in my life. I need to "grow up" and get my shit together. If I am ever going to be ready for Mr. Right then I need to be Miss Right instead of Miss For Now.

So this means I need to pay my bills on time, get rid of my debt, go back to school and get a degree, and take care of me instead of everyone else. I have been thinking about leaving derby for a long time, but I love it and really feel it is something I am good at. When it comes down to my personal goals and my derby goals I need to do what is going to be best for me in the long run. I hope the girls will still call on me occasionally to help out and I plan on going to all the games and cheering them on. I don't want derby to disappear completely. I just need to take what I have learned about myself from derby and apply it to the rest of my life.

So thank you derby girls. You changed my life for the better.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

The Year In Review

1. What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before?
2006 was definately a year of firsts for me. I got involved with roller derby and won my first ever trophy. I traveled to Canada for the first time. I started bellydancing and had my first ever "dance recital".

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't really make resolutions. My goals for 2007 are: go back to school, find a job I can be passionate about, get my money in order, and do what makes me happy.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
One derby baby and one Deek's baby.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Nope, and I hope to continue that trend as long as possible.

5. What countries did you visit?
Canada, eh.

6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
Mo' money, mo' money, mo' money. And a decent guy would really be a switch.

7. What dates from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
6/3/06 first ever bout. 12/5/06 new start in a new house.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Roller derby was an achievement for sure. I started something and stuck with it for the first time in a long time. I stood up for myself whenever people did me wrong.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not admitting that I was spending too much in rent and just letting that house go and getting something cheaper, sooner.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Well, my parents didn't name me Grace for a reason. If there's something to trip on, fall over, or stab myself with I'll do it. So let's just say there are too many to list here.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Best deal: plaid mini skirt off ebay with tags, $5.00.
Most extravagent: black satin corset, hand made, $300.00.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Well, it certainly wasn't Britney Spears. Note to Britney: wear panties, shoes and wash your hair.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Close minded individuals that can't see past their own agendas.

14. Where did most of your money go?
I support the national economy by shopping. Target, Torrid, and Ross. OH MY!

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Derby of course. And bellydancing. I'm pretty easily amused though, so I get really excited about a lot of stuff.

16. What song will always remind you of 2006?
Blue October "Hate Me" and Dresden Dolls "Coin-Operated Boy"

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Happier. Yeah me!
b) thinner or fatter? I think about the same unfortunately.
c) richer or poorer? Again the same, broke as a mafucker.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Living in the moment, saying what was on my mind immediately, and made MO' MONEY.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Crying for sure. Stressing out about that which cannot be changed. And wasting my time on losers.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Been there, done that. (With family, BTW)

21. Did you fall in love in 2006?
Hmmmm. I came pretty close. It certainly hurt when it was over.

22. How many one-night stands?
I plead the 5th.

23. What was your favorite TV program?
Lost for sure. For every answered question you get five more mysteries. Although Flavor of Love was pretty good. Where else would you see a chick shit her pants on TV? Rule number 1 in trying to win a reality dating show: Don't poop on the dude's floor. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I certainly know a few more worthless people now then I did then. I don't know that I "hate" them persay, but I wouldn't care if they slipped and fell in a puddle of flesh eating bacteria.

25. What was the best book you read?
I read a lot. It's hard for me to say one book is the best. So good reads this year were: Wicked, Odd Thomas, Night, and I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Dresden Dolls and Hank III.

27. What did you want and get?
Pink IPOD Nano.

28. What did you want and not get?
A job that I look foward to going to and feel that I make a difference in.

29. What was your favorite film of this year?
Walk The Line. I watch it once a week.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 28. Damn I'm old. I had a bout, so that pretty much occupied my day. The girls sang to me at half-time and I got sent to spank alley. Good times.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Less stress.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
40's and 50's vintage with a bit of a punk flair.

33. What kept you sane?
My BFF, my dogs, my friends, and lots of chocolate.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Joaquin Phoenix. MMM MMM MMM.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
The war in Iraq for sure.

36. Who did you miss?
My grandma. Everyday.

37. Who was the best new person you met?
SB, for sure. she makes me smile and listens to me bitch. Thanks for being my "lucky" charm!!!

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006.
I learned not to hide my feelings because I think the other person won't want to hear it. It doesn't matter what their reaction is, I need to say it and feel better about things. Yes, it is taking a risk of rejection, but it would be worth a few rejections for the day that it gets me exactly where I want to be.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Love me or hate me, it's still an obsession.
Love me or hate me, that is the question.
If you love me then thank you!
If you hate me then fuck you!