Phobias

I have found that as I get older the more fear I have for things. I can remember being a kid and being scared of the normal monsters in the closet/under the bed or not wanting to be in the dark. I also had this weird obsessive fear of being kidnapped. I was PETRIFIED of "kidnapper vans". You know, those work vans with no windows. I ahve no idea where that came from, but everytime I saw one of those vans I would freak out.

Now as I get older I am scared of the stupidest shit. For example, I recently got a bicycle. I haven't been on a bike since I was 15 or 16, so it's been a few years. I got on it and started to ride down the street and proceeded to panic. I was going to fast, I would fall over when I tried to turn, I would go ass up if I hit the brakes too hard, get me the hell off this death contraption. Seriously. What the fuck is wrong with me?

A couple weeks ago I was at my aunt's house with my dogs. She said there had been a rabbit hanging out in her yard and we wondered if the dogs would come across it. Sure enough, a few minutes later we see my chihuahua chasing this tiny bunny. They went one way, they went another way and were off around the house. The next thing I know the bunny turns around and comes running towards me. I actually screamed. My aunt laughed at me, because seriously who is afraid of a bunny. What the fuck is wrong with me?

I get all freaked out at the mall now, too. Why do malls always have to have glass railings on the second floor. I am getting woozy just thinking about it. I walk plastered to the wall and try not to look. Seriously. What the fuck is wrong with me?

I have turned into the world's biggest wuss. I need hypnosis or something. Does anyone sell courage in a bottle? Just call me the Cowardly Lion.