41 Random Sentences

) My uncle once: picked my half-brother up by his throat, slammed him into a chair, and sat on him with his knee in his chest to stop him from trying to stab my cousin with a dull kitchen knife. (How's that for an opening statement?)

2) Never in my life: have I felt completely secure in every way.

3) When I was five: I had no idea that life as I knew it would change completely by the time I was 6.

4) High school was: a waste of time.

5) I will never forget: what it felt like to be understood.

6) I once met: a real like Texas Ranger and he was nothing like Chuck Norris.

7) There's this girl I know who: married a kind, loving, thoughtful, perfect man and had her 3 kids taken from her because she is white and that man is black.

8) Once at a bar: my drinking buddy told a homeless man she was having a party in her pants and he was invited. He followed her around for the rest of the night.

9) By noon I'm usually: eating lunch.

10) Last night: I watched the Desperate Housewives finale and hoped that one day I would find a group of female friends that supportive.

11) If only I had: a pillow and a blanket so I could take an afternoon nap.

12) Next time I go to church: the building will get struck by lightening.

13) Terry Schiavo: needed her wishes to be in writing, something that is on my to-do-soon list.

14) I have a confession to make: I think about some of my ex-boyfriends more then I care to admit.

15) When I turn my head left: I see all the work on my desk I should be doing.

16) When I turn my head right: I see my Ipod, phone, and printer.

17) You know when I'm lying when: my face turns red (unless I am just embarassed).

18) Everyday I think about: sex.

19) If I were a character written by Shakespear I'd be: Juliet, tragically in love.

20) By this time next year: I will own my own house and finally have a GREAT boyfriend.

21) A better name for me would be: Violet.

22) I have a hard time understanding: quantum physics.

23) If I ever go back to school I'll: hopefully be more inspired to do well.

24) You know I like you when: I ask you to go somewhere with me.

25) If I won an award the first person I'd thank is: me! I won the damn thing after all. Shiiiiiit.

26) Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferraro: Monkey, Music, Cowboy, and just wrong.

27) Take my advice, never: let your mouth overload your ass.

28) My ideal breakfast is: chocolate cake. In bed. With a sexy man. Eating it off me.

29) A song I love, but do not have is: That doesn't happen.

30) If you visit my hometown, I suggest: Pete's Kitchen.

31) Tulips, character flaws, microchips & track stars: My favorite flower, can be endearing or intolerable, I know nothing about, run fast.

32) Why won't anyone: use common courtesy anymore?

33) If you spend the night at my house: you could be woken up by yappy dogs in your bed.

34) I'd stop my wedding for: nuclear holocaust.

35) The world could do without: close-minded people.

36) I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: eat shit ala 2 girls 1 cup.

37) My favorite blonde is: Marilyn Monroe.

38) Paper clips are more useful than: yo mama.

39) If I do anything well: it's love with my whole heart.

40) And by the way: do you have any awesome single guy friends you could set me up with?

41) The last time I was drunk: I fucked up bad, made really stupid decisions, and pushed away a really great guy for good.