Decisions, Decisions

So I have been in the process of buying a house for the last 6 months. There have been ups and downs and a few freak-outs, but the day is getting really close. I never once thought in a million years that I would be buying a house on my own. I always thought that I would have to have a husband to do that. Don't get me wrong though, I have always been proud of the fact that I have been supporting myself (with the occasional help from Dad) for the last 9 years. I have always been able to pay my own bills and live without roommates for the most part.

I started out in a small 550 square foot apartment. It was tiny and ugly, but it was my very own. I initially moved into it because my boyfriend at the time (who was 14 years older than me) said that we couldn't get married until I had lived on my own. His rationalization was that he had experienced that part of life and wanted me to experience it as well so that I wouldn't later feel that I had missed out on something. That was one of the greatest gifts he ever gave me.

Ever since then it has been just me and my dog(s). We have lived in 5 different apartments and 2 houses in the last 9 years. Other than my bout of temporary insanity with Cabana boy and the aftermath of being in that house, I have done it on my own. Not very many of my friends can say that. If they lived on their own prior to being married they always had roommates to depend on.

Now comes the hard part. I have to make this huge decision on my own. This is not like something that I'm renting that I can move out of in 6 months or year if I don't like it. This is for at least the next 5 years. The sad part of it is that I have never lived in once place for 5 years straight in my entire life. This is HUGE! I am absolutely terrified. What if I don't like the neighbors? What if something huge goes wrong? What if it's really creepy there at night? What if? What if? What if?

So far I have found one house that I walked into and fell in love. Unfortunately, that house is a short sale (pre-foreclosure) and has multiple offers on it. I am about third in line for it. It could be months before I hear anything and even then I may not get it. So now I am searching for a house that I like (hopefully as much or more) that I would be able to get into within the next few months. The first house I looked at, I liked. It was recently remodeled and needed very little done before I could move in (mainly just a piece of fence along the alley). That house as well was a short sale. It has been on the market almost a year. The listing agent told us that the bank had declined offer after offer. A few weeks ago it was finally foreclosed on and went back to the bank. Well, today it came back on the market. At 20k less than the previous asking price. I put an offer on it. There is a very good chance that a week from now I will have an acceptance. I could be a home owner by mid-October. I am freaking out. I keep second guessing my decisions. I have called my parents, my friends, anyone I can think of to offer some reassurance that I am making the right decision. If only there was some pill I could take that would boost my self-confidence in this decision. So until someone invents that, I am just going to continue sitting here with my leg shaking, chewing my fingernails, and aimlessly trying to distract myself from over-thinking this monumental event. I would love a major distraction right now. Anyone got any ideas?