) My uncle once: picked my half-brother up by his throat, slammed him into a chair, and sat on him with his knee in his chest to stop him from trying to stab my cousin with a dull kitchen knife. (How's that for an opening statement?)
2) Never in my life: have I felt completely secure in every way.
3) When I was five: I had no idea that life as I knew it would change completely by the time I was 6.
4) High school was: a waste of time.
5) I will never forget: what it felt like to be understood.
6) I once met: a real like Texas Ranger and he was nothing like Chuck Norris.
7) There's this girl I know who: married a kind, loving, thoughtful, perfect man and had her 3 kids taken from her because she is white and that man is black.
8) Once at a bar: my drinking buddy told a homeless man she was having a party in her pants and he was invited. He followed her around for the rest of the night.
9) By noon I'm usually: eating lunch.
10) Last night: I watched the Desperate Housewives finale and hoped that one day I would find a group of female friends that supportive.
11) If only I had: a pillow and a blanket so I could take an afternoon nap.
12) Next time I go to church: the building will get struck by lightening.
13) Terry Schiavo: needed her wishes to be in writing, something that is on my to-do-soon list.
14) I have a confession to make: I think about some of my ex-boyfriends more then I care to admit.
15) When I turn my head left: I see all the work on my desk I should be doing.
16) When I turn my head right: I see my Ipod, phone, and printer.
17) You know when I'm lying when: my face turns red (unless I am just embarassed).
18) Everyday I think about: sex.
19) If I were a character written by Shakespear I'd be: Juliet, tragically in love.
20) By this time next year: I will own my own house and finally have a GREAT boyfriend.
21) A better name for me would be: Violet.
22) I have a hard time understanding: quantum physics.
23) If I ever go back to school I'll: hopefully be more inspired to do well.
24) You know I like you when: I ask you to go somewhere with me.
25) If I won an award the first person I'd thank is: me! I won the damn thing after all. Shiiiiiit.
26) Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferraro: Monkey, Music, Cowboy, and just wrong.
27) Take my advice, never: let your mouth overload your ass.
28) My ideal breakfast is: chocolate cake. In bed. With a sexy man. Eating it off me.
29) A song I love, but do not have is: That doesn't happen.
30) If you visit my hometown, I suggest: Pete's Kitchen.
31) Tulips, character flaws, microchips & track stars: My favorite flower, can be endearing or intolerable, I know nothing about, run fast.
32) Why won't anyone: use common courtesy anymore?
33) If you spend the night at my house: you could be woken up by yappy dogs in your bed.
34) I'd stop my wedding for: nuclear holocaust.
35) The world could do without: close-minded people.
36) I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: eat shit ala 2 girls 1 cup.
37) My favorite blonde is: Marilyn Monroe.
38) Paper clips are more useful than: yo mama.
39) If I do anything well: it's love with my whole heart.
40) And by the way: do you have any awesome single guy friends you could set me up with?
41) The last time I was drunk: I fucked up bad, made really stupid decisions, and pushed away a really great guy for good.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
So you think you're ready for the "one"?
Being a single girl I like to cruise a variety of matchmaking sites to see what is out there in the world beyond my front door. I've never had much luck in this area however. I have great emails, better phone calls, and after we finally meet in person I never hear from the loser again. I am the kind of girl that guys respond to after knowing for awhile. I picture it something like this: first glance "She's cute. Great personality." and then after hanging out as friends for awhile "Wow. I really like being around her. She's got such a great smile. I wonder what it would be like to kiss her." and then after the kiss and more I make them turn psycho (but that is a post for another day).
So in reading all these personal ads one thing really gets under my skin. I read this huge diatribe about how this guy wants a girl who will treat him right, not play games, must have a brain, not looking for a sugar daddy, etc. etc. And then comes his physical requirements: she must be a size 2, good teeth, perfect hair, no flaws, athletic, etc. etc.
And what do you think he looks like? Well, he is not Brad Pitt or Mark Wahlberg by any means. He's got a beer belly, yellow teeth and a shitty job.
So here's my issue: if you really want a woman that will has all the unsuperficial qualities does it really matter if her hair isn't the right color or if she is chubby? Not all women stay a size 2 forever. Some get pregnant, gain 50 lbs. and never lost the weight. Some women age horrifically and drain your bank account in attempts to regain their youth and really just end up being made of plastic.
I can be guilty of making judgements based solely on looks myself. I have also dated men that are not the "hottest" guy in the room by any means. I found what I liked in them though, whether it was the way they looked at me or how they always seemed to take my best interest to heart. I just think it is narrow-minded to have a physical ideal of what your perfect person looks like. It is better to know who you want and need them to be. For me I want an old-fashioned gentlemen that respects women, children, and animals and believes in holding a door open and escorting a little old lady across the street. I have a friend that at first glance I thought "never in a million years" he is nothing that I would normally be attracted to, and yet, as we got to know each other the more I became attracted to him. Now I think we would be great together if only that pesky girlfriend would go away. I've also had guys that I have drooled over at first glance and said to myself, "He would never go for me. I am not pretty/skinny/punk rock/whatever enough for him." And in a few short months of being friends we are making out and dating. It just goes to show that you never know who you will be attracted to or why. So to me we should be putting less emphasis on how a person looks and more emphasis on who they are. Looks can change. Personality can not.
So in reading all these personal ads one thing really gets under my skin. I read this huge diatribe about how this guy wants a girl who will treat him right, not play games, must have a brain, not looking for a sugar daddy, etc. etc. And then comes his physical requirements: she must be a size 2, good teeth, perfect hair, no flaws, athletic, etc. etc.
And what do you think he looks like? Well, he is not Brad Pitt or Mark Wahlberg by any means. He's got a beer belly, yellow teeth and a shitty job.
So here's my issue: if you really want a woman that will has all the unsuperficial qualities does it really matter if her hair isn't the right color or if she is chubby? Not all women stay a size 2 forever. Some get pregnant, gain 50 lbs. and never lost the weight. Some women age horrifically and drain your bank account in attempts to regain their youth and really just end up being made of plastic.
I can be guilty of making judgements based solely on looks myself. I have also dated men that are not the "hottest" guy in the room by any means. I found what I liked in them though, whether it was the way they looked at me or how they always seemed to take my best interest to heart. I just think it is narrow-minded to have a physical ideal of what your perfect person looks like. It is better to know who you want and need them to be. For me I want an old-fashioned gentlemen that respects women, children, and animals and believes in holding a door open and escorting a little old lady across the street. I have a friend that at first glance I thought "never in a million years" he is nothing that I would normally be attracted to, and yet, as we got to know each other the more I became attracted to him. Now I think we would be great together if only that pesky girlfriend would go away. I've also had guys that I have drooled over at first glance and said to myself, "He would never go for me. I am not pretty/skinny/punk rock/whatever enough for him." And in a few short months of being friends we are making out and dating. It just goes to show that you never know who you will be attracted to or why. So to me we should be putting less emphasis on how a person looks and more emphasis on who they are. Looks can change. Personality can not.
Monday, April 28, 2008
These are a few of my not-so-favorite things
Tired of all those surveys where you list favorite this, favorite that..? Well now you get to list off everything you hate, and vent about everything that annoys you or makes you mad. Just let it all out and say as much as you want!
MOST HATED...
FRUIT: Cantaloupe and Honeydew melon.
CANDY: Anything with nuts. Nuts are no bueno.
BEVERAGE: Diet anything cause artificial sweetener tastes like ass.
COLOR: Brown. Looks like poop. Nuff said.
TOWN/CITY: Boulder, CO. Damn hippies.
TV SHOW: I refuse to watch WWE.
MOVIE: Donnie Darko. I dislike movies that are so out there they are impossible to understand. If I wanted to think I would read a book!
ASPECT OF MYSPACE: Teenage drama.
ASPECT OF INSTANT MESSENGER: Forgetting who the hell that person is and why they are on my list.
ANIMAL: Rodents, reptiles (except turtles or fish).
INSECT: All of the above.
BIRD: I like birds from afar. I do not like birds flying near me and I do not want to touch one or have it touch me.
SEASON: Winter.
AGE OF KIDS: Teenagers.
WHAT ANNOYS YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING WHEN...
DRIVING: Going too slow in the left lane or feeling the need to come to a complete stop to turn right on a green light.
TALKING ON THE PHONE: If you are in the bathroom at least have the courtesy to mute, mmkay.
WATCHING TV OR MOVIES: If I have seen it before and they haven't and they ask a million questions instead of just watching the fucking thing!
EATING IN RESTAURANTS: People doing anything related to bodily functions (farting, nose blowing, hacking a lung, etc.)
GOING THROUGH DRIVE-THRUS: Putting 8000 packets of sauce in my bag after I told you I didn't want any sauce.
YOU'RE AT THE MALL: Slow ass people that wander back and forth so you can't pass them. Ditto for the groups of 50 that are trying to walk side-by-side at a goddam snail's pace.
SHOWERING: Running out of hot water before I am done shaving my legs or rinsing the conditioner out of my hair.
WHAT HOUSEHOLD CHORE DO YOU HATE THE MOST? Cleaning the bathroom, especially if anyone other then me has used it.
WHAT DO YOU THINK WOULD BE THE ABSOLUTE WORST WAY TO DIE? Alone and in pain.
WHAT'S THE MOST ANNOYING HABIT IN OTHERS? Playing stupid cause they think it's sexy or will get them out of having to do their job correctly.
WHAT IS YOUR WORST HABIT? I tend to judge books on covers.
WHAT FASHION TREND (PAST OR PRESENT) HAVE YOU HATED THE MOST? Metrosexual men. Good hygiene is good, plucked eyebrows and make-up on my boyfriend is not.
WHAT POPULAR SONG (PAST OR PRESENT) HAVE YOU HATED THE MOST? Pretty much anything hairbands.
TO BE COMPLETELY STEREOTYPICAL, WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE MOST ANNOYING THING ABOUT GIRLS? They are catty, cliquey bitches that would not think twice to stab a sister in the back when it comes to a man.
TO BE COMPLETELY STEREOTYPICAL, WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE MOST ANNOYING THING ABOUT GUYS?: They are lying, cheating dogs that would not think twice about cheating on a good woman whenever an available pussy offers itself up to him.
WHAT'S ANNOYING YOU TODAY?: My teeth hurt.
MOST HATED...
FRUIT: Cantaloupe and Honeydew melon.
CANDY: Anything with nuts. Nuts are no bueno.
BEVERAGE: Diet anything cause artificial sweetener tastes like ass.
COLOR: Brown. Looks like poop. Nuff said.
TOWN/CITY: Boulder, CO. Damn hippies.
TV SHOW: I refuse to watch WWE.
MOVIE: Donnie Darko. I dislike movies that are so out there they are impossible to understand. If I wanted to think I would read a book!
ASPECT OF MYSPACE: Teenage drama.
ASPECT OF INSTANT MESSENGER: Forgetting who the hell that person is and why they are on my list.
ANIMAL: Rodents, reptiles (except turtles or fish).
INSECT: All of the above.
BIRD: I like birds from afar. I do not like birds flying near me and I do not want to touch one or have it touch me.
SEASON: Winter.
AGE OF KIDS: Teenagers.
WHAT ANNOYS YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING WHEN...
DRIVING: Going too slow in the left lane or feeling the need to come to a complete stop to turn right on a green light.
TALKING ON THE PHONE: If you are in the bathroom at least have the courtesy to mute, mmkay.
WATCHING TV OR MOVIES: If I have seen it before and they haven't and they ask a million questions instead of just watching the fucking thing!
EATING IN RESTAURANTS: People doing anything related to bodily functions (farting, nose blowing, hacking a lung, etc.)
GOING THROUGH DRIVE-THRUS: Putting 8000 packets of sauce in my bag after I told you I didn't want any sauce.
YOU'RE AT THE MALL: Slow ass people that wander back and forth so you can't pass them. Ditto for the groups of 50 that are trying to walk side-by-side at a goddam snail's pace.
SHOWERING: Running out of hot water before I am done shaving my legs or rinsing the conditioner out of my hair.
WHAT HOUSEHOLD CHORE DO YOU HATE THE MOST? Cleaning the bathroom, especially if anyone other then me has used it.
WHAT DO YOU THINK WOULD BE THE ABSOLUTE WORST WAY TO DIE? Alone and in pain.
WHAT'S THE MOST ANNOYING HABIT IN OTHERS? Playing stupid cause they think it's sexy or will get them out of having to do their job correctly.
WHAT IS YOUR WORST HABIT? I tend to judge books on covers.
WHAT FASHION TREND (PAST OR PRESENT) HAVE YOU HATED THE MOST? Metrosexual men. Good hygiene is good, plucked eyebrows and make-up on my boyfriend is not.
WHAT POPULAR SONG (PAST OR PRESENT) HAVE YOU HATED THE MOST? Pretty much anything hairbands.
TO BE COMPLETELY STEREOTYPICAL, WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE MOST ANNOYING THING ABOUT GIRLS? They are catty, cliquey bitches that would not think twice to stab a sister in the back when it comes to a man.
TO BE COMPLETELY STEREOTYPICAL, WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE MOST ANNOYING THING ABOUT GUYS?: They are lying, cheating dogs that would not think twice about cheating on a good woman whenever an available pussy offers itself up to him.
WHAT'S ANNOYING YOU TODAY?: My teeth hurt.
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Book 3 - Holy Cow
Holy cow: An Indian Adventure
-Sarah Macdonald
My co-worker lent me this book to read after we had a conversation about the wonders of India. She travels there once a year on medical missions and I picked her brain about the country and culture. She said this book best describes everything India has to offer from the filth and poverty to the spiritual and beautiful.
This book is about the experiences of an Australian radio personality living in India for two years while her journalist husband was assigned there. Sarah had traveled to India in her early 20's and vowed never to return. She found the endless sea of beggars and pollution to be overwhelming. At the airport she encounters a beggar fortune teller who reads her palm and tells her that she will one day return to India, and return she does.
Since she is not working and her husband is frequently out of the country on assignment, Sarah takes this opportunity to explore everything India has to offer. She spends time learning about religion from the Hindus, Buddhists, Jews, Sikh, Parsi, Sufis, Yogis, and even Christians. It is this aspect of her journey that I envy the most. She is able to take a piece from each religion and carry it with her. I identify with that tremendously.
It is not all serious reflection however. Sarah also tells of her love affair with all that is Bollywood and what the singles scene looks like in New Dehli. Her adventures trying to acclimate to the Indian culture are endearing and will have you laughing.
To sum it up: I enjoyed this book immensely and recommend it to anyone with an interest in India and Indian culture. I give this book 9 out of 10.
-Sarah Macdonald
My co-worker lent me this book to read after we had a conversation about the wonders of India. She travels there once a year on medical missions and I picked her brain about the country and culture. She said this book best describes everything India has to offer from the filth and poverty to the spiritual and beautiful.
This book is about the experiences of an Australian radio personality living in India for two years while her journalist husband was assigned there. Sarah had traveled to India in her early 20's and vowed never to return. She found the endless sea of beggars and pollution to be overwhelming. At the airport she encounters a beggar fortune teller who reads her palm and tells her that she will one day return to India, and return she does.
Since she is not working and her husband is frequently out of the country on assignment, Sarah takes this opportunity to explore everything India has to offer. She spends time learning about religion from the Hindus, Buddhists, Jews, Sikh, Parsi, Sufis, Yogis, and even Christians. It is this aspect of her journey that I envy the most. She is able to take a piece from each religion and carry it with her. I identify with that tremendously.
It is not all serious reflection however. Sarah also tells of her love affair with all that is Bollywood and what the singles scene looks like in New Dehli. Her adventures trying to acclimate to the Indian culture are endearing and will have you laughing.
To sum it up: I enjoyed this book immensely and recommend it to anyone with an interest in India and Indian culture. I give this book 9 out of 10.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
I miss my English Villain
A typical email exchange with the English Villain...
Me: Purple
EV: Throbbing
Me: Quivering
EV: Ribbed
Me: Pleasure
EV: Arousal
Me: Hard
EV: Erect
Me: Penetrating
EV: Hole
Me: Filled
EV: Juicy
Me: Wet
EV: Succulent
Me: Taste
EV: Delicious
Me: Satisfaction
I miss my favorite Brit. Come out and play again won't you?
Me: Purple
EV: Throbbing
Me: Quivering
EV: Ribbed
Me: Pleasure
EV: Arousal
Me: Hard
EV: Erect
Me: Penetrating
EV: Hole
Me: Filled
EV: Juicy
Me: Wet
EV: Succulent
Me: Taste
EV: Delicious
Me: Satisfaction
I miss my favorite Brit. Come out and play again won't you?
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