Dilemma

So I barely walk in my front door last night and my cell phone rings. I reach to answer it and whoever it is hangs up. I check the number and it's not one I recognize so I shrug it off. Then my home phone rings. It's a landscaping company. My heart skips a beat. It's the ex. A thousand emotions are racing through me, fear, anxiety, curiosity, anger. He starts to fill me in on his last few months since we have not spoken since the parking lot incident. I listen and keep wondering why he even felt the need to call at all. What is it that he wants from me? He made it perfectly clear before that he didn't want a relationship with me and he damn sure didn't give a shit about me as a friend. So why keep calling?

It was a fairly long conversation, maybe half an hour. I got off the phone feeling confused and just generally upset. He dropped some hints that I wasn't sure how to take. I don't know if he's just fucking with me or if he is trying to tell me the truth without actually coming clean about it. I just don't know what to do about it. Do I confront it head-on or do I just blow it off?

After getting off the phone with the ex I immediately called the Cabana Boy. He listened for a moment and then said we would talk about it when he got home. That kinda pissed me off. It was a big deal to me and he was blowing me off in favor of Chinese food. CB called back about an hour later and wanted to talk, so we did. He offered me no advice, no comfort, no nothing. I took a bath to try and relax. It didn't work. I was sitting on my bed in my towel when CB surprised me by coming home early. I wanted to be happy about that but I wasn't. He is horrible when it comes to making me feel better when I'm upset. That is when I need him to hold me and make me feel secure in my relationship with him. He wants to tickle and play around and that just makes me feel worse and even more isolated from him.

I guess that is why the call from the ex bothered me so much. Because I am so insecure in my relationship with CB. I have no idea where we stand. It would have been so much different if I could've said to him, "Things with CB are great. We are happy and in love."
But I can't say that. I don't know it to be true. And therein lies the dilemma.