FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why can't we stop fighting with each other? GAWD DAMN. It seems like everything we say to each other turns into an arguement. Maybe we are just too different to even be friends. Maybe there is just too much in the past that we can't move beyond and let go of. All I know is that I don't need all this stress and drama in my fuckin life. I eliminate people from my life that make me feel this way. Permanantly. don't need, don't want, sure as hell don't have to deal with it.
I really don't want to fight with him, but he is constantly pushing my buttons. He nitpicks my style, my friends, my music, everything. And then it turns into that I talk to my friends about him. Wrong. I talk to one friend about him. Period. I need to vent to someone, since he never lets me finish a fucking sentence without yelling at me.
I know that we are both adults, but we acting like we are still teenagers. We haven't learned how to communicate as adults without feeling like the other one is making judgements based on past behavior. And yes, I must admit that I do that. I can't help it. I don't TRUST him yet. That takes time. I don't trust him to respect me as his friend and not steal from me. I don't trust him as a lover not to break my heart the first time someone he thinks is better then me comes along. I fight my issues with him everyday. There are a thousand things I could have gone off about by now that I haven't. Purely, cause I am giving him the benfit of the doubt that he is a different person. But, when his behavior contradicts his statements it's hard to have faith in that.
He thinks that I'm all hung up on him like I was then and that is just not the case. I know now that there is so much better out there for me. And if he wants to be committed to me again he has to step the fuck up. I deserve to be treated like the princess I am.
All I know is that I hate living like this dear readers. Is being happy too much to ask?